Monday, August 10, 2009

Bridal Shower!

Yes! I went for a bridal shower! "Why?" they ask, "Why the hell not?" I have a desire to have as wide a range of experiences as possible; I actually find that most people are scared of new things, of breaking old customs that don't make sense anymore, of stepping out of their comfort zones and learning. Me, I want to know more, my excuse is that I want to be able to incorporate these experiences into the things I write.

Anyway, I walked in at about 8:30 and found Jaq (who invited me!), Barbara (whose shower it was), Brenda, Angela and a bunch of girls, most of whom I knew. Apparently I was the stripper! I was anxious of course, this was forbidden territory and many a man has ventured here and perished! Leaving behind only tell tale signs; discarded belts, shoes and the like. I settled down quickly, helped immensely by the punch! I think punch should be the official party drink from now on. This was the most ballistic punch ever! I could not understand why everyone seemed sober especially the bride! Jaq set about fixing that and I got down to the talk thing. Tracy, Joan and the punch provided all the necessary ingredients. Tracy was not forthcoming with the kb; all I could learn was that she works in one of those reputable financial institutions (banks) and that she had to work the next day. More punch, food and then it was time for the "Ssenga".

My friends are hip; they get tired of these traditional things, some of which don't make sense anymore. So it came to pass that I was the "Kojja", so armed with that "ka towel" thingy and mob kb I set about educating. I went Buddhist Zen, stressing how no matter what advice anyone gives you, loin cloth and all, at the end of the day, the most important bit is the kb between two people. No sooner had I finished that statement than I was bombarded by questions from all over the place. "What if you tell him this and he does theat?" "What do you do when he keeps doing the same shit you don't like?" "Can I replace my guy with a dildo?" Okay that last one is a joke, but seriously, what the hell do you guys do to these women? Interestingly it was the married ones that had the most questions. I am not a person who handles groups well; I am more comfortable in a one on one situation so I lay back and let the punch take me! Thankfully everyone else seemed to have succumbed to it and people got up to all sorts of things that culminated with some French guy stripping! More punch and more kb with Linda, Brenda, Jaq, Harriet and Angela. Oh and one of the French guys promised me a story good enough for some of our leading dailies, so I will be following that up. Plus I have a court date with Brenda; I want to see if guys be doing 'Boston legal' stuff in there. Somehow we managed to transport ourselves and litres of alcohol to 'Bead for Life' which is not bad at all! I think most of us wrapped up the night shortly after that. I went to a friend's car to be easy and fell asleep. I have to say that Bugos has the harshest mosquitoes ever; they chewed me like vampires at 'Bloodfest09' and now my arms look like I'm recovering from chicken pox.

I have to say this for bridal showers though; I think more guys should be invited because I got the feeling that people actually have serious stuff they want addressed and the Ssenga can only tell you so much. As for the sex talk, I will be conducting practical demonstrations wherever and whenever necessary! Don't feel shy!


normzo said...

dude, u and yo progies-now yo a kojja,and a stripper at that, this must be some adventurous stuff going to.

the emrys said...

dude, we want pics...not of you stripping obviously

jny23 said...

Yo becoming a Tom Rush of sorts. Kojja, stripper, bridal shower,a writer, etc etc.

Carsozy said...

So when do we hear about the french sleaze?

Baz said...

Reminds me of one Ssenga's advice.

"Bwaba nga ayagala kuyitira Kalerwe, mugambenga nti asobola n'okukwata ekkubo eliyita ebwayise alyoke atuuke eKyebando. Mugambe nga nti ekkubo lye Wandegeya lyelisinga okunyuma."

~ gnuts ~ said...

Rhino... please translate. Show your prowess (-:

Rhino said...

@Normzo, yes I want to live fully!

@the emrys, pics are copyrighted

@jny23, I'm in a rush rush...gotta keep on moving

@carsozy, I'm onto the french sleaze

@Baz, clearly you've been up to no good

@Gnuts, loosely translated, "Never deny pleasure"

Abid said...

dude , interesting stuff you are up to!!! Did you lose my number or something?

Rhino said...

@abid; nope, I have your digits. Infact we're chatting on messenger right now!