Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Dreaming my dreams......with you!

I used to be a dreamer, especially in matters of the heart. I don't know whether I still am. You know, you get your heart broken and then all that "happily ever after" stuff sounds like well just like it should, a fairy tale. My first crush was in my primary 7, there was this girl called J and one day I found myself thinking about her. My main fantasy was about kissing her but of course I couldn't do anything about it. It was primary, girls were to say the least mysterious and any advances by me would have gotten me in the hottest of soups ever. Incidentally it all remianed just that, a fantasy, but I remember the feeling! It was exhilarating! Two years later I was back at it, this time it was this girl I had known since I was about 9. They were letters involved and I got as far as a hug (ooooh!). But that too was put in my closet of crushes when she moved overseas, for good! We wrote each other some brilliant letters but as they say "out of mind....."
Then came the crush that crushed the dreamer in me. A case of unrequited love. It was in a word, heartbreaking. I used to believe that love could overcome it all, but I guess there was one big obstacle it couldn't. I will tell no more about that one.

So here I am today, much less of a dreamer than I was but in love once more. So am I still having dreams of forever, a little bit, but they are tempered by the reality of life. Not all dreams come true, but you can alyways hope and work toward them. But the worst thing about that dream crushing crush was that it made cautious in love. Not fully giving of myself. So how to overcome that? Because I must do it.

1 comment:

sam said...

OMG!! unrequited love!! takes me back. i dnt thnk i can even begin to describe a feeling that bad. i thnk one of the greatest triumphs of adulthood is that ,since the days go by so quickly, experiences like that are over faster. sheesh!