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The rest of those who have gone before cannot, steady the unrest of those of us who follow.

In the absence of the sacred.

I am in no way superstitious. I've read too much crap to be that inclined. But sometimes you just have to wonder why some things always happen the way they do. For instance I have a friend who whenever he watches an Arsenal match, they never win, most of the time they lose...It got so bad that before their most recent game, Arsenal fans misdirected him and told him we were watching the game in some bar on the other side of town. He caught onto the ruse and showed up at the nook just in time for kick off. Arsenal promptly lost 2-1. So what is my point? None really, just thought i would share a story.

I had a very unfamilliar feeling today. I remember having something like it back when I was about 10 years old. My mom had gone out and it was getting late and I had this very heavy heart kind of sensation. I was worried that something would happen to her...I wanted her to come back immediately...I was not whole without her. I had that kind of feeling today, about someone who I haven't seen for a whole week. I think I'm falling deeper still.

Currently reading:

Abyssinian Chronicles by Moses Isegawa
A really good read, the fact that it's set in Uganda makes it easy to relate to. Humor and style of narration is very good as well.

His Dark Materials Trilogy by Philip Pullman
Started reading it bse, the reviewers compared Pullman to Tolkien and have to say I was not disappointed. Just finished book two *The Subtle Knife*. A must read for any fantasy fan.

Song currently obsessed with:

Deeper water by Minnie Driver

Something funny for you: It's so miserable being a millionaire!

Fight or Flight?

Wrapped up Grey's Anatomy Season 2 last week. It is my second best show ever, only to friends. It got very heart wrenching in the last 3 episodes. For the sake of not spoiling it for anyone, i won't say anymore but it's a must see.
There's another plus to watching grey's anatomy...i've discovered some really nice music. It's like every episode has some bloody nice song you've never heard. Two weeks ago I was obsessed with "In the Sun" by coldplay, last week it was "Chasing cars" by Snow Patrol, today I listened to "Somewhere only we know" by Keane and just lost it. Fiona you have to listen to those 3 songs and then add on

Don't Forget me: Way Out West
Wish I: Jem
Suitcase: Joe Purdy
Back Where I was: The Hereafter
Other Side of the World: KT Tunstall (very nice)
How to save a life: The Fray

Now I don't know which series I'm going to watch, I think I'll look into The 4400 or Smallville

Haemorrhage in my head!

I'm an England fan, infact it's the only team I'm supporting at the world cup. It has been my team for the last 7 years. We've been through, last minute penalties in Euro2K, broken metatarsals in 2002, Emile Heskey in 2004 and more broken metatarsals....and we have never parted ways. I will now call it she to better define my love for England. She has given me moments of unrestrained joy , like that time in Munich or that time with the greeks. I in return have proclaimed my love from the rooftops, willed matter and energy to move "the force" in our favor. At times it has obliged and other times darker arts have undermined our efforts. But on saturday I was totally mystified, I wondered whether the "Martians" had finally attacked earth and their first act was to replace the entire England team with zombies or worse. I spent the whole evening valiantly defending my beloved England as my friends poured forth their arsenal of words to describe the most appalling display on a soccer pitch.

I have a theory that Sven is out to get revenge, after all the English press has put him through, this is his last chance for payback. I won't be surprised if he names 11 defenders against Trinidad and Tobago.

But we will persevere, I will the fates as much that it is to my ability to do so...
"May the force be with us"

Evading the FRIEND ZONE!

I watched an episode of scrubs sometime, JD was about to kiss Elliot and then they were interrupted. His theory is that if something like that happens, whoever wants to take it forward (i.e. the guy) has 48 hours to complete the kiss or else the girl's gray matter will light up and chances are high that you will be condemned to the friend zone. If u don't know what the friend zone is, just listen to mario's "just a friend".
Incidentally, I find myself in a similar or worse predicament. There's this girl, I have a crush on her. I begin spending time with her and naturally I fall deeper. And then yesterday we almost kissed. Now, the problem is I'm not going to see her for a few days, so I have to be the single outstanding exception to JD's 48 hour rule. In case u were wondering what happened to JD, he was 1 second late and was thus condemned to the friend zone

As deceptively nice as the name sounds, The friend zone is among the top 5 things guys dread most. In simple words, it is torture. I've been there, twice. Not a very nice place to visit. I'm not ending up there this time.

FRAMED!: The all knowing God and free will!

I have a long running argument with almost all my friends, this centers around the concept of an all knowing God and free will. For the faint hearted, poor of spirit, easily offended, wrap-a-bomb-around-your-waist fanatics, and if you feel your faith is not strong enough please stop reading this now and go...well..do somethin else.

Apparently God is all knowing, simply put,he knows each and everything from the beginning of time unto the end of all things and I guess beyond that too. But most importantly God knows all that you shall ever do, all the decisions you will make from the moment you take in your first breath till the time you exhale your last. Your path has been chosen for you. Basically God knows what you will say, think and do after reading this....blah blah. So this begs the question, if he knows everything you will do, all the choices you will make from birth to death and obviously you cannot go against that, how then is it free will if when faced with a decision as simple as taking tea or porridge your choice is predetermined?

I mean, as a more complex example, God knew that I would be the way I am and do all the things I have done and will do until my candle burns out. He knew, from the beginning of time that;
1981: Enter Raymond
1986: Baptise Raymond
1996: Raymond becomes atheist
****: Raymond Dies
-----: Raymond burns in hell

I cannot defy this path. It was written for me ages ago. So I must walk it. So is it fair to say that I have free will?

Incidentally I gave up my belief in the christian God, hence

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.
----William Ernest Henely