Happy New Year

I've only just nicked a few moments of lucidity to wish you all a happy new year. In between a few lengthy and meandering walks with Johnny, hits off the pipe, sniffs of something that I'm sure was baking soda and the various weird happenings that follow a bender, I thought I would float by here and say hi, check up on you, keep the connection alive and solicit a deeper friendship with you this year.

"No sweetie, get off the ledge. You're not superwoman. I know, I know, I said so last night but if you jump then I'm going to have to spend January consulting with Chameleon's lawyer, claiming that you walked into my house and jumped off the balcony."

 Happy new year once again. How is it going so far? Good? Made any plans yet? Broken any resolutions? Still feeling good about going three days sober? Good for you, I'll check with you in a week.

"Okay sweetie. Give me a minute and I'll come play kennel with you but I'm the 'big dog' this time. Okay?"

Behold! The honourable minister for general duties.

This just in. The minister for 'general duties', prof Tarsis Kabwegyere claims that it's okay for you guys to steal money because, well, even the guys in the 'West' did it when they were still trying to develop. According to him, if there's nowhere to get the money, then we must steal it, because money has to be gotten one way or another.

I mean, what the hell are 'general duties'? I think they encompass idiocy, perhaps he's the 'king's fool'.

"Sweetie. Sweetie, no. No biting."

Okay, I'll catch up with you guys later, oh, and a happy new year to you all again. May it be kind to you and may you steal only hearts.