Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Ten Thousand Dogs Later

I once met a guy who was on his way to the Bahamas or some such place of sunny climes and sandy beaches to write a novel, a political satire of sorts titled 'Ten Thousand Dogs Later'. He was quite impassioned about it and went on to explain how the premise involved political leaders and castration. This was about five years ago, I wonder how it all turned out.

I saw something on twitter yesterday to the effect that State House spent $2m on photocopying stuff, sheaves of paper, all of them mightily important, of course. I wonder if this is true and if perhaps the bill's not for an extended period of time, say 20 years. I wonder too, how this ties in with the e-governance policy I'm sure we adopted a while back, in order to minimise our impact on the environment; save the trees, buy a few thousand ipads for the empees, ministers and their cronies; emails have to be sent, especially to State House where they can be printed and then copied.

A hard day's work at State House

In light of such prolific copying activities and related pastimes, certain foreign governments have decided to reduce the amounts of money they give you. Their primary reason is that of all the stuff you've printed out and copied, there's not even ten pages that shows where their monies have gotten to, except that page that says:
  •  Printing Draft Audit Report for Donors:                                                           $100K
  • Copying Draft Audit Report for Donors:                                                            $100K
  • Donor Draft Audit Report Discussion Committee:                                          $100K
  • Donor Draft Audit Report Stakeholders Wshop:                                             $100K
  • Printing Draft Report of the 'Donor Draft Audit Report Discussion Committee: $100K
  • And so on...
 So they're not giving you any more monies, you can convulse and nod all you want.

I think they're right though, and should have stopped giving you anything the day you sat down, called yourselves an 'august house' and decided there was no other 'pair of balls' big enough to lead you, and so you were going to remove 'these' few sentences from this 'ki' document and print it again, and make a few copies to boot.

In fact, they should never give you anything for 'free' again; and you should never accept. What? That you're some street kid in dire need of a handout that you should be the object of their pity? Of anyone's pity? But you are, are you not? At least that's what they say about you when they take up their begging bowls and venture out there seeking funds for your sustenance. A few pictures, words and numbers and the report is ready! Send it to State House for printing and copying.

Dogs. That's what you're in for, ten thousand of them. They've been loosed on you and now they come sniffing, checking which pair of balls is sitting a bit too tight, a little discomfort, a trickle of sweat and then they'll pounce. They want to know who has been copying all these documents, who signed here and there, who cooked these numbers. But these dogs are harmless, they sniff and bark and then prance about, licking hands and feet, subjugated. What dogs are these?!

Dogs, rabid dogs {art used without permission}

Someone's going to have to pay though. It's not free you know, never free, nothing is. Someone's going to have to pay; with their balls. Is it you? I hear everything trickles down eventually, to you and that you're too ignorant to know what's good for you, so you must pay, for your ignorance at least, for wanting to not know.

Not to worry though, you have oil!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Nice article.....Fiona