Parenting myself...

Teenage rebellion is normal, it happens to all people except those weird few who for some strange reason can't fathom the thrill in occasionally going against authority and embarking on a journey of self discovery. It is my opinion that these same people suffer from mid life crises when they get there. The "who am I?, I'm not happy with whatI'm doing...blah blah"

As a teenager I did my share of rebellion, but this was quickly cut short by my all so "wise" relatives. Anyway to put it briefly, because I cannot go into details, I found that I had to raise myself from an early age. Ofcourse I had people who were there for my physical needs but the needs of the mind were totally left to me. My report card was my own responsibility, I made my choices as to what to study, who to associate with, what to do in my free time etc. It is an amazing thing that when you have parents who pressure you to do things in a certain way, to be the best you can be, to be morally upright, you rebel as much as you possibly can; but given the choice by fate to do this completely on your own, you will yearn for one reproachful look, a grounding or any kind of parental intervention in your life.

If someone asked me the things that influenced me in the choices I've made so far I would say, the memory of some long since departed people, a number of poets and authors, an uncle or two but mostly my belief in the amazing ability of the human being's kindness, for without it I would probably not be blogging this.

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The way the world works!

Life is unfair, actually it's probably more unfair than you realise. As a child, I was lucky enough to be exposed to a wide range of literary materials. The stories that always fascinated me were the ones that involved the knights of the realm upholding truth and justice, fighting against evil dragons and rescuing damsels in distress. I was swept away by those stories and that would probably go some way in explaining my fascination with JRR Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, Superman, The Xmen, Drizzt D'Urden and tons of other heroes standing up to defend those who could not stand up for themselves. I spent hours day-dreaming that I was one of those knights in the stories rescuing some distressed dame. Consequently I had a very defined view of the world, there was good and there was bad (and occasionaly ugly). I was for good and God help those who stood on the other side. Inevitably, as is wont to happen, the years piled and I sprouted a few hairs here and there and as the knight in me looked at the world, lines begun to blur, the dragon wasn't necessary evil after all. Maybe he was just in need of a pat on the back and a "you're not all alone" kind of talk. Back in my younger days, I could have wanted nothing more than to champion the cause of the opressed, nowadays it's survival of the fittest. Recently I was with my uncle, a very nice man by any standards, a trained MD who shunned the big bucks of private practice to work in public health and help those much worse off. Anyway he was driving along in this big 4 wheel drive car and this guy in a much smaller car was trying to get into some space infront of him, but he (my uncle) would not yield and as he edged the guy out he said "Me big car, you small car. That's the way the world works"

Still some things never die easy and few things are harder to kill than ideals cherished and nurtured in childhood, so I remain a knight at heart. And so I say " Be every bit the knight you can be"