25+

Now!

2012-01-17T06:57:00.000-08:00

I am at child's play
The beginning of the universe at the start of each day
Yesterday is gone and tomorrow far far away
I have only today to say
HEY!

There is no formula for the imaginary things

2012-01-12T06:51:00.000-08:00

Bliss is here :)

2012-01-11T05:59:00.000-08:00

If you want to be happy, be.
.......Leo Tolstoy

Geisha Love

2012-01-10T03:24:00.000-08:00

You can avoid being a neurotic if you stop obsessively analysing what you imagine to be your character: never mind your faults, stop moaning about your complexes, do not pour out confessions about what you can and cannot do, like or desire. Treat each meeting with a person as an independent event. 'A geisha is always ready to produce pleasure with out considering her own needs.' Put aside personal ambitions and the expectations you have of yourself. Learn to be a geisha by being, first of all, a geisha to your own body; look after it, cook meals for yourself when you are alone as though giving yourself a treat; look after your mind by feeding it with poetry and music. Avoid creating an excessively rigid idea of your desires. Look upon yourself as an amoeba, floating through life, dividing: do not be afraid of losing your identity. Or look upon yourself as a collection of electric light bulbs: do not put all the electricity in a single bulb or it will explode; allow your energy to circulate freely through the many sides of yourself. The looser, the more open and limitless your identity, the better. Treat your emotions as a garden needing to be kept tidy. Be generous, and that will stimulate new resources within yourself, new ideas. Follow the 'laws of nature'. It is up to you.

--------------------- An Intimate History of Humanity by Theodore Zeldin.

Happy New Year

2012-01-05T23:11:00.000-08:00

It was an okay year. I mean, last year; it was alright.

I spent a good amount of it in your homes, as a friend, drinking or smoking buddy, guest, invited and otherwise, acquaintance, forlorn stranger, charity case, homeless bumpkin, that guy who has grass, banange the list is endless but I spent it with you.

I gave up my place of abode at the beginning of the year, the walls did not love me anymore and spent the days hatching plans with the roof to smother me while I slept and nights glaring at me with peeling paint malice and contempt. I could not sleep. The doors would let me out no more but led me down endless corridors where the clocks always struck the hour of darkest night and the paintings came alive. Bronze horses galloping, drums beating, evil eyes laughing, sharp teeth chattering, and long bony fingers peeling off my skin.

So I left and returned to my mother’s house.

I was ashamed; somewhere in my head my ancestors sat before me and tut-tutted. I was no longer worthy to be called your friend or brother for I was just another lazy motherfucker.

Still I deigned to walk among you. I could not be alone for it meant that I would slowly but surely perish, perhaps not in form but in substance I would be less here and more there. So I walked about and saw you from the other eyes and learnt that man is a lonely and scared creature, that all he does is to quell the silent despair that lies deep in his heart. All alone out here, he gathers to himself everything he can find and would tell the story of his life by the mounds of dirt he piles, one on top of the other.

I learnt that you still believe that to have a care is to be weak and in hardening your heart, you fell and lost one.

I remembered what it meant to have a home, to catch the trailing bits of the love you once knew as a child. It is no more now, the one without a price, perhaps it never was but I knew it once and it is still somewhere deep inside of me. I will give it to you, if you let me.

I walked abroad unafraid of you for I was God in my world, and I weighed and measured and found you in need. I saw your fear and felt it run through me and knew that you’d rather it was not near or something you could hear. So I kept quiet and let the cacophony of feigned laughter, disdain, and rage wash over me.

I walked to the forest to find the wild man who went to live a deliberate life and beneath the fig tree we shared fruit. He called me a wild man too, said I was very much him, true to the wood with nothing to prove.

And then I sat with you and broke bread, told you what I saw in my mind’s eye but you did not hear. Your voice louder in your head than shrieking Valkyries drowned out all that did not please. Still I sat, and waited for you to return and listen. I sit still.

I will not give up. One day you will truly know me and then I shall have no fear and you will not be afraid of me too.

Happy New Year people in my life; friends real and imagined, family lost and found, love known and unknown.

::Hold Fast::

2011-11-04T05:53:00.000-07:00

Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die. “He that will lose his life, the same shall save it,” is not a piece of mysticism for saints and heroes. It is a piece of everyday advice for sailors or mountaineers. It might be printed in an Alpine guide or a drill book. This paradox is the whole principle of courage; even of quite earthly or quite brutal courage.

A man cut off by the sea may save his life if he will risk it on the precipice.
He can only get away from death by continually stepping within an inch of it. A soldier surrounded by enemies, if he is to cut his way out, needs to combine a strong desire for living with a strange carelessness about dying. He must not merely cling to life, for then he will be a coward, and will not escape. He must not merely wait for death, for then he will be a suicide, and will not escape. He must seek his life in a spirit of furious indifference to it; he must desire life like water and yet drink death like wine.
.......................................................................................................................... GK Chesterton

Sing a sad love song and bury me in the sky

2011-11-02T08:16:00.000-07:00

I passed out on Sunday night, not due to substance abuse (albeit three Guinness and sherm smoke) but one of those unexplained moments when your body gives out. It’s happened to me once before, sometime in 2003 when I was with Jorge and Roger in Ntinda. We had just arrived in town from a trip to Hoima and having been seated for several hours I got out of the car to yawn and stretch me limbs. I opened the door, stood up, stretched my hands ready to embrace the full splendour of life and ZAP, the lights went out. I came to several seconds later, sprawled on the dusty pebbled ground, nervous laughter and concerned glances all round and brushed the incident off, putting it down to the exhausting trip.

The human body is frail; though when you are young and healthy you tend believe otherwise but the truth is that it’s matter and succumbs to entropy. I think one of the things that stresses and depresses people when they advance in years is that creeping realisation that your body is giving out on you, most times (you think) before you’ve had the chance to do much with it. I don’t fall sick often but for the occasional bout of the common cold and have always been reluctant to visit the physician but in the most dire of circumstances. In fact, I have always had the concept of medical bills and how high they can be at the back of my mind. When I was younger and my medical bills were the responsibility of someone else, I learned how heavy a burden that could be and I came to bear the notion that unless it’s a matter of life and death, I have no business troubling anyone with that ‘ka slight twitch of the pinkie’ that happens every now and then. As for life and death, if I’m conscious then it’s time for saving my ass, otherwise kwaheri world.

So there I was, standing over the saucepan of potatoes, fork in one hand trying to tease that nice big potato onto the plate in the other when the lights went out. Last thing I heard was the plate fall and shatter and then nothing until I came to, a minute later, lying on the kitchen floor with the saucepan of potatoes between my legs. For a minute I was terrified, scared of the fact that if it had been more serious I would have probably lain there until the mourning. Then I fully came to and started wondering where the consciousness goes in such moments; I mean, you’re not here but for an empty husk and you’re not there for there is no memory of the other place. So where?

On thinking about it some more, I realised that my body’s been doing this for years, the passing out I mean. There are times when I’m taking a leak, especially when I’ve been ‘tying’, and I feel myself go woozy for a few seconds and then an incredible rush of life and energy and aaaaaaah! It’s close to ecstasy and probably death. Thankfully it’s never happened whilst playing ‘hide the sausage’. It does however remind me of my mortality, and makes me think of what would happen if it were serious. Then I realise that I need somebody else to care about my body because oftentimes I don’t respect it that much. I once had a monologue where I threatened to toss it off a bridge when I was done with it and it calmly threatened to give me ‘Pirellis’ and throw me in ditches if I decided to binge on the finer things. I have learnt that we need other people to take care of us when we can’t do it for ourselves and that that is a very huge part of why we attach ourselves to others, why we are bonded to family and the closest of friends, why we came down from the trees.

I love my body and know it has a weakness for the things material and that I should not let it get carried away with them but it is still only flesh and will wither and die in time. I do not desire to hasten to this end but I know it is always close, never as far off as we like to tell ourselves. Apparently, so I heard some professor or doctor say, we don’t like to think about it often because of the paralysis it would induce in us, the knowing that the end is never far off would apparently cripple us to the point of inaction. It has always been on my mind since I truly became aware of it and I guess it has crippled and killed a few wants and desires in me but if anything, it has helped me act with a singular purpose for I know that it is a brief story I live.

Not to worry though, if you have any affection for me and fear that I will leave you here, a little less than you should be. I desire no such end, not to hurt in anyway but only to love, to care, to give a damn and I know it must start within my soul and to be honest, the story was begun long before I got here and I am but a brief chapter in your book of life. I walk in when the storm comes, to tell you that the thunder is but the voice of God, the fierce wind her infinite mercy and the darkness will be gone when your eyes open to the new dawn. And then I walk out, the chapter closed, my story to you told.

I want you to promise me one thing; that when I walk out, you will sing me a sad love song and bury me in the sky.

Never Saw You Coming

2011-10-19T07:53:00.000-07:00

I am the lonely
The ones who slip away
I am the secret
The words we dare say
I am the promise I'm about to break...again

I am the leader
Who cannot find the way
I am the preacher
Who somehow lost the faith
I am the begger reaching out my hands...again

And I never saw you coming
I could never dream of running
I have never known such love before
My God, you come, come and breathe your breath in me
Steal away what's left of me
Til you are mine and I am yours

I am the lover with no one to hold
I am the seeker with an empty soul
I'm everyone who's ever lost hope

And I never saw you coming
I could never dream of running
I have never known such love before
My God, you come, come and breathe your breath in me
Steal away what's left of me
Til you are mine and I am yours

Fall like stars on my shore
Still you are so much more

And I never saw you coming
I could never dream of running
I have never known such love before
My God, you come, come and breathe your breath in me
Steal away what's left of me
Til you are mine and I am yours
...........................................................Bebo Norman

Beyond This Mountain

2011-10-18T05:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Love,

I’m chasing after you no more,

I’ve done this too many atime before and my feet are sore.

This path has been long, arduous and forlorn;

I don’t want to go on.

Is there more to this life than you

Must I forever seek to notbe blue

And yet find nothing to erase the hue

Is it true that you always comethrough

If the heart that patiently waits is open and true

Am I a fool tobelieve in you

I want you no more,

I’ve cried too many a tear and thisheart is broke.

The promise you made when first I awoke

Is buried in the nightof past and all I have is this yoke.

I shall dine with you no more.

Do not let yourself despair,

For you’re always in the air

And all is fair when the banners are raised past the hair

And your name acrosschests we wear

I will miss you

I will remember you

I will speak fondly ofyou

But I must leave this path to you.

Farewell love

May you forever reign in the heart of thedove

And all that shines bright above

Goodbye love
.....................................................RCK

Epitaph

2011-09-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

Even such is Time, which takes in trust
Our youth, our joys, and all we have,
And pays us but with age and dust;
Who in the dark and silent grave,
When we have wandered all our ways,
Shuts up the story of our days:
And from which earth, and grave, and dust,
The Lord shall raise me up, I trust.
.........................................................Sir Walter Raleigh

Aurora

2011-07-27T04:49:00.000-07:00

The loving night is spent
Arms tight around the pillow; lingering scent
Here comes the light, shadows away to dispel
Visions and dreams to dissipate

Hold the night
Hold me tight
Heart fraught with care and strife
Would know more of sweet delight

Night is fled
Dawn kisses face
Morning dew on lips, tender touch, soft caress
Open mouth, open heart; gentle sigh, lost in space

Dawn is broken,

Darkness is fled
Heart that was broken

To the lights seeks to bend

------------------------------------------RCK

Introspection

2011-07-18T02:14:00.001-07:00

If you can help it, don’t visit your skeletons too often.
--------------------------------------------ScotchBiscuits

Becomingness

2011-07-14T06:58:00.000-07:00

Every one ought to hold fast, not his faults, but his peculiarities, so as to retain more easily the becomingness which is the subject of our inquiry. We ought, indeed, to act in such a way as shall be in no respect repugnant to our common human nature; yet, holding this sacred, let us follow our individual nature, so that, if there are other pursuits in themselves more important and excellent, we yet may measure our own pursuits by the standard of our own nature.
-------------------------------------------------Marcus Tullius Cicero

The King and I

2011-07-13T05:41:00.000-07:00

Back in the early 90s, when I was in primary school, I was required to watch the 9’oclock news and give my mother a report when she got back home. Bbale Francis was the king of night-time news and invariably he started the bulleting with “President Yoweri Museveni…” There was the one TV station back then, so there wasn’t much choice in the matter and I had to sit through Sevo opening this hospital, cutting ribbons at that ground-breaking and generally dispensing advice to his fellow Ugandans to engage in small scale industry before I could catch a glimpse of Shaka Zulu, Riviera or Herr Derrick. I was aware of a couple of things back then; that my mother’s generation had seen some dark times and that Yoweri ‘son of Kaguta’ Museveni was the greatest man in all the lands of Uganda.

Several lustres later, and I have come to learn a couple more things.

Rosemary makes the news seem so delicious; I'm sorry Mr. Bbale Francis but we be moving on, you should be proud to have a more than able successor.

The religion of father and mother is not gospel truth. If there is one thing our parents have tried to make us understand and appreciate, it is that the peace and security we have enjoyed thus far was bought at a great price and we should never take it for granted. In this spirit, they have had us believe that there is no other Ugandan who can lead this nation but the great ‘son of Kaguta’ because, well, he’s the only one who can control the military, oh and look, we have peace.

All violence is borne of fear. The so called revolutionaries who started the ‘liberation war’ of the 80’s were moved to such actions out of nothing less than fear. Afraid that a corrupt and murderous regime would consume all they had built, all they were, they took up arms to answer that violence with, well, violence and when affected in your cause, it can have many rosy names; cue freedom fighters, security operatives, revolutionaries, sons of liberty and the many coats, caps and flags it has donned in the service of man. Fear is natural, it helps the species survive but when it grows to the point of phobia it becomes the worst of man. Our parents’ society was characterized by fear to the point of eroding the ordinary senses of virtue, pride and dignity; survival was the order of the day and man became beast, base and violent. Yet in all this, as in all the histories of mankind, there were people who still held sense good enough to know and show that, complete surrender was not and never is an option. Their names are forever lost to us and all we have left are second rate heroes who extoll their valiant yet violent feats louder than the village fool. ‘Twatera emundu.”

We are the unfortunate children of a weak society. Our fathers were never strong enough to stand on their own two feet and if we should follow them, we will hobble into our graves to be mocked and forgotten as the sons and daughters of Kaguta. No people should be beholden to their heroes as to sit by and watch the very thing they fought for soiled and destroyed for their want of wisdom. Any leader must know that his primary duty is to guide and inspire the next generation and his greatest triumph to see a stronger, wiser and better leader succeed him, and thus is the lack of a suitable ‘heir’ the greatest failing of the king.

Poet's Heart

2011-07-04T04:00:00.000-07:00

I wrote to you somewhere in south Australia
a poet's heart in the eye of a hurricane
I struggle with finding words to sing these days i said
as if my thoughts are waiting in the wings
for the stage to clear

and you in your elegance and humour fill the room
your love and your concern
your anger at the injustice of man's narrowness and fear
I thank you for being here.

You wrote of love from the coast of Mendocino
a poet's heart crying a fighter's tears
the children of your body spread out across this earth
like messages written across time,
measuring the years.

And you in your elegance and humour fill the room
your love and your concern
your anger at the injustice of man's narrowness and fear
I thank you for being here.

I heard your songs reach out to California
a poet's heart locked in the Coeur d’Alene
of the old men and the booze singing out the truth in lives
of forgiveness and loyalties to friends,
constant as the endless railroad ties

and you in your elegance and humour fill the room
your love and your concern
your anger at the injustice of man's narrowness and fear
I thank you for being here.

So here we are joined finally by our words
all poets’ hearts close though far apart
i remember how you said that language is a knife
that spreads what we feel across the dry crust
of someone's heart.

And you in your elegance and humour fill the room
your love and your concern
your anger at the injustice of man's narrowness and fear
I thank you for being here.
-------------------------------Kate Wolf

Suit Up!

2011-06-13T03:32:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time

2011-05-27T08:22:00.000-07:00

I wanted to love. I wanted to be love. I wanted to know all there was in the world of man. I wanted to know your name, the one you whispered to the night and gave your dreams flight. I wanted to worship, to believe in god and bow in awe of all that I beheld.

To My Brother George

2011-05-24T02:52:00.000-07:00

Full many a dreary hour have I past,
My brain bewildered, and my mind o'ercast
With heaviness; in seasons when I've thought
No spherey strains by me could e'er be caught
From the blue dome, though I to dimness gaze
On the far depth where sheeted lightning plays;
Or, on the wavy grass outstretched supinely,
Pry 'mong the stars, to strive to think divinely:
That I should never hear Apollo's song,
Though feathery clouds were floating all along
The purple west, and, two bright streaks between,
The golden lyre itself were dimly seen:
That the still murmur of the honey bee
Would never teach a rural song to me:
That the bright glance from beauty's eyelids slanting
Would never make a lay of mine enchanting,
Or warm my breast with ardour to unfold
Some tale of love and arms in time of old.

But there are times, when those that love the bay,
Fly from all sorrowing far, far away;
A sudden glow comes on them, nought they see
In water, earth, or air, but poesy.
It has been said, dear George, and true I hold it,
(For knightly Spenser to Libertas told it,)
That when a Poet is in such a trance,
In air her sees white coursers paw, and prance,
Bestridden of gay knights, in gay apparel,
Who at each other tilt in playful quarrel,
And what we, ignorantly, sheet-lightning call,
Is the swift opening of their wide portal,
When the bright warder blows his trumpet clear,
Whose tones reach nought on earth but Poet's ear.
When these enchanted portals open wide,
And through the light the horsemen swiftly glide,
The Poet's eye can reach those golden halls,
And view the glory of their festivals:
Their ladies fair, that in the distance seem
Fit for the silv'ring of a seraph's dream;
Their rich brimmed goblets, that incessant run
Like the bright spots that move about the sun;
And, when upheld, the wine from each bright jar
Pours with the lustre of a falling star.
Yet further off, are dimly seen their bowers,
Of which, no mortal eye can reach the flowers;
And 'tis right just, for well Apollo knows
'Twould make the Poet quarrel with the rose.
All that's revealed from that far seat of blisses
Is the clear fountains' interchanging kisses,
As gracefully descending, light and thin,
Like silver streaks across a dolphin's fin,
When he upswimmeth from the coral caves,
And sports with half his tail above the waves.

These wonders strange he sees, and many more,
Whose head is pregnant with poetic lore.
Should he upon an evening ramble fare
With forehead to the soothing breezes bare,
Would he nought see but the dark, silent blue
With all its diamonds trembling through and through?
Or the coy moon, when in the waviness
Of whitest clouds she does her beauty dress,
And staidly paces higher up, and higher,
Like a sweet nun in holy-day attire?
Ah, yes! much more would start into his sight—
The revelries and mysteries of night:
And should I ever see them, I will tell you
Such tales as needs must with amazement spell you.

These are the living pleasures of the bard:
But richer far posterity's reward.
What does he murmur with his latest breath,
While his proud eye looks though the film of death?
"What though I leave this dull and earthly mould,
Yet shall my spirit lofty converse hold
With after times.—The patriot shall feel
My stern alarum, and unsheath his steel;
Or, in the senate thunder out my numbers
To startle princes from their easy slumbers.
The sage will mingle with each moral theme
My happy thoughts sententious; he will teem
With lofty periods when my verses fire him,
And then I'll stoop from heaven to inspire him.
Lays have I left of such a dear delight
That maids will sing them on their bridal night.
Gay villagers, upon a morn of May,
When they have tired their gentle limbs with play
And formed a snowy circle on the grass,
And placed in midst of all that lovely lass
Who chosen is their queen,—with her fine head
Crowned with flowers purple, white, and red:
For there the lily, and the musk-rose, sighing,
Are emblems true of hapless lovers dying:
Between her breasts, that never yet felt trouble,
A bunch of violets full blown, and double,
Serenely sleep:—she from a casket takes
A little book,—and then a joy awakes
About each youthful heart,—with stifled cries,
And rubbing of white hands, and sparkling eyes:
For she's to read a tale of hopes, and fears;
One that I fostered in my youthful years:
The pearls, that on each glist'ning circlet sleep,
Must ever and anon with silent creep,
Lured by the innocent dimples. To sweet rest
Shall the dear babe, upon its mother's breast,
Be lulled with songs of mine. Fair world, adieu!
Thy dales, and hills, are fading from my view:
Swiftly I mount, upon wide spreading pinions,
Far from the narrow bound of thy dominions.
Full joy I feel, while thus I cleave the air,
That my soft verse will charm thy daughters fair,
And warm thy sons!" Ah, my dear friend and brother,
Could I, at once, my mad ambition smother,
For tasting joys like these, sure I should be
Happier, and dearer to society.
At times, 'tis true, I've felt relief from pain
When some bright thought has darted through my brain:
Through all that day I've felt a greater pleasure
Than if I'd brought to light a hidden treasure.
As to my sonnets, though none else should heed them,
I feel delighted, still, that you should read them.
Of late, too, I have had much calm enjoyment,
Stretched on the grass at my best loved employment
Of scribbling lines for you. These things I thought
While, in my face, the freshest breeze I caught.
E'en now I'm pillowed on a bed of flowers
That crowns a lofty clift, which proudly towers
Above the ocean-waves, The stalks, and blades,
Chequer my tablet with their quivering shades.
On one side is a field of drooping oats,
Through which the poppies show their scarlet coats;
So pert and useless, that they bring to mind
The scarlet coats that pester human-kind.
And on the other side, outspread, is seen
Ocean's blue mantle streaked with purple, and green.
Now 'tis I see a canvassed ship, and now
Mark the bright silver curling round her prow.
I see the lark dowm-dropping to his nest,
And the broad winged sea-gull never at rest;
For when no more he spreads his feathers free,
His breast is dancing on the restless sea.
Now I direct my eyes into the west,
Which at this moment is in sunbeams drest:
Why westward turn? 'Twas but to say adieu!
'Twas but to kiss my hand, dear George, to you!
-------------------------------------------------John Keats

Raptured!

2011-05-23T02:35:00.001-07:00

Greetings earthlings! If you're reading this, you're probably still stuck on earth! The rapture went fine and heaven is okay so far; we're all lining up to enter this tall white tower where sounds of praise can be heard. I've noticed some really excited people walking in the opposite direction; MJ, Marvin Gaye and I think I saw Pac and Biggie share some chronic and overheard Pac say "Thugz mansion is in the other direction" I think I'm in the wrong line!

If the world should pass away tomorrow

2011-05-20T07:13:00.000-07:00

I want you to know that you're the best thing that has ever happened to me.

There was a time when I didn't know what it was all for. Life it seemed was stacked against me by an unseen force that paid no heed to my cries. I would have unraveled the string that tied me to everything if I had found the will to tug at it.

I knew you from the beginning; before the flesh, before the eye of mind could paint your face. You were in my heart, calling me forth. I heard your voice, in the still silent moment before the plunge, I heard you will it to live and let nothing within die.

I want you to know that I trust you with the nakedness of a newborn babe; that in this facade I cannot hide from you.

I want you to know that I have hope in you; that tomorrow will be better for two and the skies oh so sunny and blue.

I want you to know that I love you.

Test Emails

2011-05-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

In the spring of 1643, Jacob travelled down to the shores of the Mediterranean and set sail for the dark continent of Africa. At first, he couldn't find any captain willing to go that far out to sea. "There be monsters there" said George "Skinny" McPhallon, who had sailed farthest of any known man. He was a legend in the sailors' club, talked about as far as the northern tip of Galicia. Captain Skinny first went out to sea when he was nine years old. His father, a well known sailor from the isles of Albion had taken him out on his birthday, to teach him the ropes, so he said.
*
This is not a drill. In the 5th year of the 23rd vertical lunar shift, Kashar left the aqua colony of Aegrat for the southern system of Klom. He was accompanied by the 3rd guard of her royal highness, queen Pax.
*
I am all alone. This empty place weighs on my soul. I cannot leave for there is nothing anywhere else. There is no anywhere else only here and I. All alone.
*
The World is mine....mwahahahahahaha!
*

Someone Like You

2011-05-19T01:18:00.000-07:00

I heard that you're settled down,
That you found a girl and you're married now,
I heard that your dreams came true,
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you,
Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light,

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,
I had hoped you'd see my face,
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"
Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead, yeah,

You know how the time flies,
Only yesterday was the time of our lives,
We were born and raised in a summer haze,
Bound by the surprise of our glory days,

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,
I had hoped you'd see my face,
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"

Nothing compares,
No worries or cares,
Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made,
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"
Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead.
---------------------------------Adele

Turning Pink

2011-05-11T04:32:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to dislike my government very much, it shows so much fear, infantile logic and an alarming willingness to resort to violence. That is not what I want from it. I want it to be just, to inspire me to be a better person and to help me create a better place for my kin and I to live in. I don't want it to threaten me with death should I choose to differ in opinion and practice, if that is the society it wishes to create, then I would rather not be party to it.

Tomato Sandwich

2011-05-05T00:45:00.000-07:00

The only person you have to fight with is yourself, when all the anger is done, when the flame has burned out, and the people say that it was all your fault, that the sin was borne in the circumstance, dead and decaying, what they taught was wrong from the beginning, if I was to be the unfortunate one to tell you of how it is to be the bastard son of a dead ideaology, I would say you rather give me death than pent up animosity.

I have learned, somehow, through the years, that anger destroys first and foremost he who wields it, for then it leads him to violence. The lessons to be learned from an act of violence are without number for he can never truly know what he could have done to stop it from happening in the first place. Yet there is what you know, in the myriad happenstances of life, you are here.

You must know how to save a life, first and foremost your own. If you should find yourself on the edge of destruction, and in the passions of strife choose to fight against the world, know well how to save thy soul, for it is only you at the beginning and the end.

I have been angry, at many things. {Okaay, I just made the best sandwich in the whole world! Its a brown bread, tomato sandwich with mayo and a sprinkling of salt. Right now, I'm going to take a big bite and get lost in some other world, only for a moment.}

I got angry at life a long time ago, I was told once that life was meant to be harsh to me, that did i not know that I was an orphan? Are you God's son, that you would utter these words and decree a life of servitude for a man? When I was younger, the only father I had was God and then I walked out of his house.

When the anger is done, there must be peace, for the soul must find rest in its understanding of the world. To be otherwise is to long for another state, of being, dead perhaps but you are here so you must find some sense, in all of it.

May it make you a better person, and may you leave by the wayside all that is between us sown with a bitterness of heart.

Beef

2011-04-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

I want to tell you that I am angry, that I hate you but its not true. I hate myself, for letting you make me feel this blue. Why am I so weak? Why do I believe? That when I speak, you will see everything in me?

I want to say that I am sorry, for making you believe that I wouldn't break but I am a fool. I thought it was brave to parade myself before you, bleeding and broken, but these words you've spoken burn through.

I want to say goodbye, to break the bonds and burn the bridges to that place called you. I am through, tis true, you broke me and now I shall forget you.

Rukurubana

2011-04-20T07:26:00.000-07:00

I can feel the words tumbling in a distant place in my head. Whispers, echoes, engine revving up up up the hill. It carries, the sound across the valleys, mingled with the birds, the wind it brings delight in the promise of a sight.

Why I haven't written in a long while

2011-04-12T08:21:00.000-07:00

"So I made up my mind not to come to you again to make you sad. For if I were to make you sad, who would be left to cheer me up? Only the very persons I had made sad. That is why I wrote that letter to you. I did not want to come to you and be made sad by the very people who should make me glad. For I am convinced that when I am happy, then all of you are happy too. I wrote you with a greatly troubled and distressed heart and with many tears; my purpose was not to make you sad, but to make you realize how much I love you all."
-------------------------------------------------------2 Corinthians 2:2

When I made up my mind to write, I decided that I would simply do it for myself and those that love words. I told myself it would not matter if I never made a cent off my writing (even though that is my dream) and that I would do it for the love of it. Then I became so sad and I didn't have the heart to tell you how much, though I probably did :-) somewhere somehow. I stopped writing, but never in my head, in the ether, screaming words and more often making unintelligible sounds. I could not come to you, I could not tell you, I could not move myself to show you. There was nothing, no trust and no hope.

You shall never truly know me nor I you. We are but two specks of dust blown by the eternal wind and I must go across the desert, all alone, for that is my path, home.

I am okay, I am happy, I am here.

World Poetry Day

2011-03-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

It doesn't have to be this way

2011-03-15T02:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder where you’re coming from
when you roll in like thunder just to turn around and run…
it’s a good thing I don’t need you to stay

You smell like moonlight in early morning rain
Pray tell a fool might surrender to your pain
Or find a cure for your decay

You’re at your best with an ache in your chest
and that worn out old song that you play
Only Jesus and you who long to teach us
should no one be left to betray

I don’t know the answer but I know who to blame
You can choose the dancer and you can choose the flame
I think you’ll find they’re one in the same
It doesn’t have to be this way

You’re at your best with an ache in your chest
and that worn out old song that you play
Only Jesus and you who long to teach us
should no one be left to betray

I don’t know the answer but I know who to blame
Pray til a fool but surrender to your pain
It’s a good thing I don’t need you to stay

Sometimes I wonder where you’re coming from
when you roll in like thunder just to turn around and run
It’s a good thing I don’t need you to stay
It doesn’t have to be this way

---------------------Alison Krauss

Unfinished Life

2011-03-07T03:12:00.000-08:00

It's an unfinished life that I find lies before me
An open-ended dream and I don't want to wake
I've crossed so many rivers in search of crystal fountains
I've found the truest paths always lead through mountains
I've seen water on the sky, and fire burning on the lake.

You said to me, "I cannot make you happy.
Like a wounded bird, you must find the strength to fly.
Time can paint the treetops with colors of the rainbow
But you cannot find the end, no matter how you try."

It's a journey with my soul that I am taking.
One that only goes from the cradle to the grave.
Going 'round in circles like painted dancing horses
Up and down we ride on the wooden courses.
And light from a lover's eyes is all that I can save.

You said to me, "I cannot make you happy.
Like a wounded bird, you must find the strength to fly.
Time can paint the treetops with colors of the rainbow
But you cannot find the end, no matter how you try."

So I’ll take the day and run out across the open fields
Where the grass grows high and the shadows fall
Where my eyes can see all the colors in the air
So quiet that the wind whistles in my hair
And takes the rising dust and carries it away.

You said to me, "I cannot make you happy.
Like a wounded bird, you must find the strength to fly.
Time can paint the treetops with colors of the rainbow
But you cannot find the end, no matter how you try."

..........................Kate Wolf

Outside City Hall

2011-02-21T04:08:00.000-08:00

This morning, a group of KCC workers blocked off Parliament avenue demanding payment of their salary arrears.

"I have not been paid for four months now."

"We want to see the town clerk."

I was on my way to Kibuli so I had to dash off; by the time I left, a police officer was trying to calm the workers down.

If I was president

2011-02-18T03:41:00.000-08:00

I cast my ballot a little earlier on this morning. I don't normally pay much attention to politics, at least not for a good chunk of my life but I have tried to understand it for the last couple of years. Here's what I have learnt :-

All politicians are liars.
The electorate always behaves like a bunch of kids, a majority of it hardly understanding how their systems work and preferring a bandwagon to independent choice.
In any system, the incumbent has the advantage of access to more resources, more so in Uganda.
No idea should ever go without genuine and honest challenge, only then can its substance be truly understood and its merits and demerits put forth for all to measure.
Corrupt leaders are only a reflection of a corrupt, morally deficient and weak society. Such societies never last more than a few generations, their deaths are always borne from within, beginning with fear.
Government of the people, by the people and for the people shall never perish from the earth. Not as long as there are men and women willing to fight for it
The most important leaders in a democratic government are those most immediate to the people.
The people reserve the right to recall any ineffective representative at any point of their choosing. Exercise of this right is the ultimate form of democracy.
I am going to put my MP to task in the next five years and if he's not up to scratch, I will ask him to return to his home and engage in other business.
The People shall prevail, always, even under the most oppressive of leaderships, they shall always prevail.

Missing

2011-02-16T07:24:00.001-08:00

Shu-doo-doo-doo
Dam-dam, dam-du-dam, doo-bee-doo
Dam-dam, dam-du-dam, doo-bee-doo
Dam-dam, dam-du-dam, doo-bee-doo
Dam-dam, dam-du-dam, doo-bee-doo

I am Doolittle but I do a lot
I try to do the best with what I've got
Sometimes nobody notices at all
If I stood on a chair, I'd be taller

I know there's a million people like me
I'm sure a kick up the bum's all we need
We plan but it never comes true
All I need is somebody like you

Because I'm missing how you found me
I can't afford a bigger world but, baby, I'm reliable
I'll never go
If you find me, find me, find me, find me

Because I'm missing how you found me
If anybody has a key to spare a little dream for me
I'll let it be
That you find me, find me, finally found me

When I fall nobody helps me up
And when I call nobody's pickin' up the phone
It seems they won't even call me upon
Stickin' my face on a lamppost

So if you see me in your favorite spot
Just remember I could give you a lot
'Cause I stray in whatever I do
All I need is somebody like you

Because I'm missing how you found me
I can't afford a bigger world but, baby, I'm reliable
I'll never go
If you find me, find me, find me, find me

Because I'm missing how you found me
If anybody has a key to spare a little dream for me
I'll let it be
That you find me, find me, finally found me

I gotta get up
I gotta get up
I gotta get up
I gotta get up

So when you see me in your favorite spot
Just remember I could give you a lot
I came to see you when there's no use pretendin'
Let's hope it's a happier ending

Because I'm missing, yeah, you'll find me
I can't afford a bigger world but, baby, I'm reliable
I'll never go
If you find me, find me, find me, find me

Because I'm missing and you'll find me
If anybody has a key to spare a little dream for me
I'll let it be
That you finally, finally, finally found me

Dam-dam, dam-du-dam, doo-bee-doo
Dam-dam, dam-du-dam, doo-bee-doo
Dam-dam, dam-du-dam, doo-bee-doo

..................................Eliza Doolittle

Stylish and Versatile

2011-02-09T00:20:00.000-08:00

Stylish he said, and versatile too; Sibo tagged me on his blog and now I am bound by all the rules of the blogosphere to tell you

I have lost my belief in unconditional love. Everywhere I look, touch, taste and take in, is a million little conditions that one must fulfill before he or she is loved. She said to me that it was too hard for her, that she couldn't do it anymore, that all the little things were for a little more and if I wasn't willing to give, well...
Everything I see is a mirror of me and all that I do is a mirror of you. I love you in my own way too but I do not know which is true, if we are one and two or I am only you.
You are a star. In the dark depths of heaven you shine and I see your light. Shine
I was once a child of love and she said to me, take me in your heart and go forth into the world.
I am a child of death, always have been and always will be, and one day, she will claim me. Oh glorious day!
I have hope, in you and me and what we could together be. I hope you shall believe with me.
I am full of shit and the less you listen to me, the better off you will be. :-)

Hmmm...how many of you have steez? I must confess I haven't caught up on my favourite blogs in a while so I will tag less than the required 15.

ElleB who's disappeared from the blogging scene for more than a year now and her last blog comments are full of viagra ads. I'm sure she'll show up one day.

Number 27 who is way too intellectual for most of his peers. He once left a comment on my blog and then I guess after a few minutes decided to delete it but alas it was already in my inbox.

Spartakuss who like me is not afraid to say he likes Celine Dion.

Iwaya who is indeed mad but I'm not sure about crazy.

For this award the rules are clear;

1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post.

2. Tell us 7 things about yourself.

3. Award 15 other bloggers.(Good luck with that!)

4. Contact these bloggers and let them know they have won. (Um, by phone, fax or email?)

Rabbit Wabbit

2011-02-04T07:10:00.000-08:00

It was the year of the rabbit. Having sat down for many a day and ploughed the mindfields, he was once again content with what was planted. The garden had needed tending, after so many years of being left to their own devices, all manner of things had grown there. There was the picture of the little girl with the umbrella and the wolf's tail. Jack had grown a garden of beans but none reached the sky. The old man with the grey wispy hair kept staring at him, asking if he had formed his resolve. He wanted to teach, the way of life, the way of death; the way of the sword.

He had been born in the year of the rat. The stars told him he was forthright, generous and easy going. He hadn't felt them in a while; there were things he couldn't say because there was always a condition. He wanted to give everything and hold back from none but he would surely die and maybe that was the path to walk, the way of death. It would not go easy, not with those whom he held dear, there was still fear.

All begins with the soul, the candle that lights the dark; the spirit moves and always it must, for to stay is to die, so it must grow and evolve; the body is only material, it will be shed one day and thus mark the end. Until then you must remain.

This is the year of the rabbit.

Enlightened Anarchy

2011-01-28T05:37:00.000-08:00

To me political power is not an end but one of the means of enabling people to better their condition in every department of life. Political power means capacity to regulate national life through national representatives. If national life becomes so perfect as to become self regulated, no representation becomes necessary. There is then a state of enlightened anarchy. In such a state every one is his own ruler. He rules himself in such a manner that he is never a hindrance to his neighbour. In the ideal State, therefore, there is no political power because there is no State. But the ideal is never fully realized in life. Hence the classical statement of Thoreau that that government is best which governs the least.

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi; Young India, July 2, 1931

The PiFF Annual Report

2011-01-27T05:35:00.000-08:00

The Pay It Forward Foundation Uganda is a little more than a year old. Here's what we've been up and what we hope to get up to this year and many others after.

The PiFF Annual Report

Later this year, we will be officially launching the 'Big Brother Big Sister' mentorship project/program/whatever you wish to call it. Those of you interested in taking part will be able to do so then. I will be in touch with the details in due course.

Otherwise, mahalo.

Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet

2011-01-21T06:26:00.000-08:00

Take a moment, everyday, to breathe

Stretch life and limb, and feel

Listen, the bell upon the hill

Chimes and counts the hour of three

Be free.

Swish

2011-01-20T04:57:00.000-08:00

Why am I here? Not here on earth but on this blog, like right now. I mean, it's not like I have kb for you or anything, I just felt like letting some words out.

You ever been there feeling restless for no apparent reason? Like there's all this stuff welling up inside that wants to come out and you can't quite figure out how to let it flow? There's a picture in my head, of you and me and I like the hues, strokes and scents. The scenes change, merging one into the other with a subtlety that would put the sun, rising and setting, to shame. And yet you and I remain.

No Fear

2011-01-17T23:55:00.000-08:00

There is a violence in my soul but I know it is borne of fear. I fear not you, nor the sword you raise to cut me down. I fear that you will never know, how much I love you all.

There's Always Porn

2011-01-06T23:20:00.000-08:00

The alarm goes off at 06:00, the Rundfunker radio clock is well into its tenth year of service, trusty old Rundfunker.

“Good morning good denizens, if you’re just joining us this is Azazel and Beelzebub on the ‘Fiery Morning Show’ and today’s special guest is JEZEBEL, queen of Babylon. Welcome your highness. Now, there’s something our listeners want to know, how was it with Ahab and what the hell, forgive me, was that vineyard stuff all about?........”

It’s loud, loud enough to jolt her from sleep and dream world. It’s old too, imbued with the memories of the years, the moves across the continent, the piece of junk car, lonely motel rooms, endless highway, and Machine Town of course. She got it in Machine Town, a parting gift from Teri before she went to war, to fight with those like her for a future without her.

It’s a good piece of work too, she can picture the machines gliding on the assembly track, graceful mechanical hands dancing, a resistor here, a capacitor there, all under the watchful eye of the assembly plant manager, man and machine, at their best.

Five more minutes and then she’ll go make breakfast. She reaches out a hand to the bedside table; book, keys, phone, aah, she hits the Rundfunker, pulls the comforter over her head and returns to the world of the machines; man and woman and machine. She drifts.

She wakes ten minutes later, she is trapped. The cave is a dead end, she shouldn’t have run down here but she had to keep moving. After the bridge, she had to run and find a safe place to hide. The bridge, Oh God! It couldn’t be true! But she had seen it with her own eyes.

His foot was stuck. The machines were coming. The timer was running down. His foot was stuck. She screamed at Machine to cut him loose, even if it meant losing the foot but the thing was in a trance, walking slowly back onto the bridge, back to the machines. There was fury in its eyes, red burning fury fixed at the oncoming horde. We’re all going to die, she thought. John grabbed her hand and placed the RAD into her palm.

“Get this back to CENTCOM and give it to Mobius. Only Mobius.”

“I’m not leaving you here.”

“You don’t have a choice, they’ll be on us in thirty, Machine is not responding to any command, he seems drawn to the horde. Tell Mobius, he owes me, I told him this damn thing would let us down.”

“No. No no no no no. I’m not leaving you here.”

“Go. Now!”

Machine had at this point reached the base of the bridge tower where she and John huddled. John’s back against the railing, struggling to free his foot, and her struggling to pull him loose with no luck

“I can cut it off”

“There’s no time Misty, this is an order. Go. GO NOW!”

Machine stopped, his tall hulk obscuring the light of the oncoming horde, silhouetting his majestic frame against the forest night, he was not Machine anymore, he was something more, a wonder to behold. He leaned down, picked her up and swung her like a discus, all the while screaming at her to “Flex. FLEX. FLEX!” The bridge exploded, a bright orange light illuminated the night, a ringing sound as she sailed through the air, screaming, then darkness.

Kingston 12

2011-01-06T22:46:00.003-08:00

"There is a lot of goodie goodie down in a Kingston 12
Don't be no, don't be no little stock on the shelf
Do unto you breda like you do to yu self
Good healthy body value more than wealth
So big up all the massive in Kingston 12
Dem nuh want no lickie lickie in Kingston 12
Dem nuh want no none progressive in Kingston 12
Dem nuh want no lazy body in Kingston 12
A chapter a day keep the devil away
So read your Bible go down on your knees and pray
Ask GOD Almighty guide you day by day
Go down in di ghetto and hear what the people a say"

Ahimsa or The Way of Nonviolence

2011-01-05T06:45:00.000-08:00

Plato said long ago, "There always are in the world a few inspired men whose acquaintance is beyond price"

I am reading a book titled "All Men Are Brothers" which is a collection of autobiographical reflections by Mahatma Gandhi. I have started building my code, the principles I hope will take me through my thirties and well into adulthood.

Ahimsa literally means 'the avoidance of violence - himsa'. It means kindness and non-violence towards all living things including animals; it respects living beings as a unity, the belief that all living things are connected.

I have at my core, a belief that all life is sacred and should be treated as such. When I was younger, and it happened to be one of those occasions that called for the enjoyment of kikoko, I always volunteered to do the honors of execution or slaughter. Of course my primary motive was to secure the liver and heart, which I put on a skewer, roasted for a few minutes and painfully enjoyed as the time lag between getting them off the fire and into my mouth was at best 10 seconds to whoosh some cold air onto the sizzling bits. But oooh, were they yummy! However I recall always being struck by the fact that I was ending a life, that somehow I was playing a very big role and that I needed to accord it as much respect. I would look the chicken in the eye, say a prayer and in very quick sawing motions, sever head from body. The body always writhed, as blood spurted and splattered on the banana leaves. I held tight until the writhing stopped and then got down to the plucking of feathers, dissecting, and cleaning.

We played games with beetles, my childhood friends and I, we would stick a pin through the thorax or thereabouts, tie a string to it and then let the beetle fly while holding onto the string. After we had been introduced to the marvels of electric lighting, my brothers and I took advantage of the allure of the lights to take pot shots at the geckos that always sauntered close looking for dinner, the lights attracted all sorts of insects in the nighttime. I have never forgotten those moments, writhing bodies, severed tails, malicious laughter and glee, little boys.

Some boys never grow up. The instruments of torture and malice employed in childhood, gradually evolve into the fists of the brute and the animal within is never tamed.

"Man as animal is violent, but as Spirit is nonviolent. The moment he awakes to the Spirit within, he cannot remain violent. Either he progresses towards ahimsa or rushes to his doom."

Happy New Year

2011-01-04T02:18:00.000-08:00

It's amazing isn't it? One year goes by and another takes its place, seasons come and go and yet it all seems to stay the same. I've made tons of resolutions not least of which is to take back my body from the snatchers, I think I will emulate the Shinigami this year, or the Samurai. I want to devise a code of conduct that will serve me well through my thirties but I subscribe to various beliefs, some of which are in eternal conflict. So, if you find me variously coloured any day this year or for the rest of my life, do not worry for my sanity, I suspect that deep down is still a very rational me that looks upon my deeds and laughs, cries, shakes his head and ambles off to suck his thumb. It is well, it is happy, it is full of promise and there is a rainbow against the sky. The storms have passed, and the wanderer may walk forth.

So I will walk on the earth, for there lies the path to coloured skies. I will sit beside the calm waters and know the depths of the hidden heart. If must needs, I will soar on the winds and be the master of change. But to home, I shall trudge with a free heart and leave the world at the gates of the stead.

My Boy Builds Coffins

2010-12-18T06:23:00.000-08:00

My boy builds coffins with hammers and nails
He doesn't build ships, he has no use for sails
He doesn't make tables, dressers or chairs
He can't carve a whistle 'cause he just doesn't care

My boy builds coffins for the rich and the poor
Kings and queens them all knocked on his door
Beggars and liars, gypsies and thieves
They all come to him 'cause he's so eager to please

My boy builds coffins, he makes them all day
But it's not just for work and it isn't for play
He's made one for himself, one for me too
One of these days he'll make one for you
For you, for you, for you

My boy builds coffins for better or worse
Some say it's a blessing, some say it's a curse
He fits them together in sunshine or rain
Each one is unique, no two are the same

My boy builds coffins and I think it's a shame
That when each ones been made, he can't see it again
He crafts every one with love and with care
Then it's thrown in the ground, it just isn't fair

My boy builds coffins, he makes them all day
But it's not just for work and it isn't for play
He's made one for himself, one for me too
And one of these days he'll make one for you
For you, for you, for you

....................... Florence and the Machine

Patience

2010-12-10T05:04:00.000-08:00

Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, yonkontê
Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, kiye
Ni kêra môgô
Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, yonkontê
Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, kagni
Ni kêra môgô

Huh, we born not knowing, are we born knowing all?
We growing wiser, are we just growing tall?
Can you read thoughts? can you read palms?
Huh, can you predict the future? can you see storms, coming?
The Earth was flat if you went too far you would fall off
Now the Earth is round if the shape change again everybody woulda start laugh
The average man can't prove of most of the things that he chooses to speak of
And still won't research and find out the root of the truth that you seek of
Scholars teach in Universities and claim that they're smart and cunning
Tell them find a cure when we sneeze and that's when their nose start running
And the rich get stitched up, when we get cut
Man a heal dem broken bones in the bush with the wed mud
Can you read signs? can you read stars?
Can you make peace? can you fight war?
Can you milk cows, even though you drive cars? huh
Can you survive, Against All Odds, Now?

......................Damian Marley

Idealogoue 5.5.5 and Make the Children Smile

2010-12-09T03:15:00.000-08:00

Be Better

This past weekend was ballistic among many other things. It all begun with the PiFF meet at Kyoto which as always is a great way to start any weekend. The meet was well attended and there was a new face, Brad 'Strobe Light' Strobel of Kampala International Church. After the various activities that take place at 'PiFF meetings', I hooked up with other members of the 'Monday Think Tank: Side B' and we proceeded to the 'High Priestess' home for a reasoning and grounation and other such stuff.

If I was to relay the goings on of the think tank, I would run the risk of becoming persona non grata in the tank, so let it be known that I made my way home at 7:30 am, after breaking my no drinking rule again, no, wait, its December already so am back on the booze. Speaking of which, nothing beats beer, no siree, nothing. I have been informed that it makes for a good power breakfast, but I am yet to experiment.

Anyway, I got home and decided I would get an hour's sleep before I run off to the 'Yellow House' to prepare for the xmas party. No such luck. After flirting with sleep for 30 min, drifting in and out of Morpheus' realm, I got a call from Beqy and decided to abandon the nap.

The xmas party. Last year when the PiFF was starting out, the first activity we did was to help chaperone a kids xmas party.

smile for the camera sweetie

'Make the Children Smile' is a group of young, passionate, mostly cute, vibrant gals and boys who, much like PiFFers, provide support to the Oasis of Life orphanage and each year they organise a christmas party for the children at the orphanage, oh, they do Easter as well and I'm sure Abid can get them to organise an Idd party.They have been kind enough to let the PiFF in on their parties and allow us to add our meagre contributions and it was in this spirit that Saturday found us heading to Kiwatule Recreation Center for the annual, 'Make the Children Smile' (are u tired of reading that phrase yet? bse I'm not done with it :-) ) xmas party.

Before I could head there, I had to send out an email to Strobe Light concerning PiFF activities and the like so that the PiFF can receive support from his church. Over the past year, I have written various documents about the PiFF that sometimes I feel like exploding when someone walks up to me and asks, "So, what's this piffy, piffing, ePiFFany stuff about anyway?" But, as always, I compose myself and launch into how the PiFF is simply an idea and that's what we're in the business of, nothing tangible I say, its all about the stuff in your head.

There's this nice coffee shop in Kigowa, 'The Haven' its called, its not bad at all, nice muffins and there's an internet cafe next door with a hot spot, so you can enjoy a cup of chai while surfing the internets. I decided to stop by and send the email. The internets is big, everytime I log on, I get carried away. Ooh, there's this site, theurf.com, I found the link on uginsomniac's blog, it's malarious, hilarious stuff. Have you been to urbanlegendkampala.com? Baz, Streets, Sleek and Erique doing their thing, its brilliant. Hey, what do you guys think about WikiLeaks? I think its an amazing achievement that would never have been possible but for willing people and the internets. Interestingly, the man behind the idea is now facing sexual offence charges which of course have nothing to do with WikiLeaks. Hmmph! I think an idea is hard to kill, if not impossible, and it won't be too long before something better than WikiLeaks comes along, also, once information is out on the internets, it's a wrap! You might as well shut down a gazillion websites but it's always out there somewhere, being peddled by those who excel at it, those who push the boundaries of human knowledge.

While I was sending the email, I received two calls, the first from Beqy informing me that I was late and that they would have to leave without me, I told her I would find her at the party later and proceeded to order some food. You know, fat frog and all. Then I got a call from one of my clients, the big guy could not access his email and the world had come to a stop, someone had to come and fix it, eh eh. Knowing how important email is to business, coupled with a bit of cajoling from my business partner, I decided to go and sort out said problem. But I was in Ntinda, the party was in Kiwatule and the client in Bugolobi.

I had previously agreed to hook up with Becca of 'The House on Friendship Road' on my way to the party so I headed to her place. Becca, Carlo and Darlyne are roomies and I have been spending a lot of time at their hewis[house]. They made me watch Glee! Its this series where everyone keeps breaking out in song. I found Carlo who was in the midst of sending a message via facebook, she was totally engrossed, facebook yaja! I called Becca and she was in Muyenga, doing Yoga, she would be back in 30min. Darlyne was out there somewhere, no doubt up to some interesting stuff, she does many interesting things that one. Anyway, I put one foot in a hammock and the other in Zion and decided to take a nap. No such luck, so I just lay in the hammock and looked at the sky, trees, listened to the birds, I thought I could hear the damn grass grow. Grating of metal, the gate was opening, Becca was back, 45min, not too bad. I should pick a leaf.

After she'd taken a shower, dressed up and what not (which amazingly didn't take too long), we headed to Bugolobi so that I could hook up the client. IT tech support is interesting, among many things, it requires a calm reflective mind, a willingness to learn and the ability to handle the unexpected. Thankfully, this job took 10 minutes to accomplish and another 20 to answer the client's questions, there are always questions, mob of them.

Paul, you bastard! I can see you :-)

We left Bugos and headed to Kiwatule and the xmas party. It was great, there was face painting, nice bus[food], happy kids, cute girls, fleeting butterflies, friends, PiFFers and interesting strangers. The snaps are on facebook. The bus was so nice, there were seconds and thirds, for the kids I mean. Compliments to the chef. Some kb, a kickabout, a doughnut and much more and then I had to prepare for a 5min presentation I was scheduled to make at the inaugural Idealogue 5.5.5 event.

So, there's these guys, they call themselves 'Speakers Without Borders', mbu they're in the business of banging unrestricted kb, Ssewa would say "syuuu! you're sloping, splash! splash!" but that was a long time ago. Speakers Without Borders, Xter Inc, Kitenge Spaces, The WorkZine and Emaline Graphics got together and arranged a kimeza and called it Idealogue 5.5.5. The idea was to have 6 presenters each make 5min presentations of ideas, concepts, things that they wanted to put out there, 5min for feedback and then I guess the conversation would carry on in other forms and on other forums. The PiFF was invited to take part and yours truly was oba chosen to make the presentation. Yours truly did not have the presentation ready by 4pm and the event was starting at 5pm.

The Scouts have a motto, 'Be Prepared' and if its the only claim you ever lay to being a scout, do it and always 'Be Prepared'.

4:30pm or thereabouts and I sat down with Eunice, Becca and Davinah to finalise the presentation. We had previously flirted with a few concepts, the best of which was to have 5 PiFFers each talk for one minute and tell a simple story about paying it forward, however this was deemed impractical due to the time available for preparations and other such things, so we decided to go with a classic powerpoint slide thingy. One hour later and we bundled ourselves into Becca's auto and headed to Workers' House for my first public presentation.

It went well, I was nervous at the beginning, sweated a little bit but I think and I'm told it was great! Yay! I banged all my kb and even had time to play for guys a Marley kids song, 'The Mission' which I thought summed up the PiFf idea.

"Haile Selassie say a one respect for every man
No care the race, no care the color nor di religion
So make a decision fi bun di division
Cause each and every human being fi trod pon di mission"

The Idealogue 5.5.5. was a success, though some of us broke the rules, we had more than 5 slides, we didn't have any pictures and in fact Davis, one of the organizers and he of the unbordered kb, had me panicking to fit some pics into the PiFF presentation. I did, and one of them prompted a question from the audience.

Dinner was served by Becca after the event, i.e., I had a nice dinner with Becca and then it was off to home to see my housemate and me landlord, i.e. pay my rent. My landlord was supposed to have locked up his hewis that night at 11pm if we hadn't come up with his gees, thankfully my housemate kept him at bay and I managed to come up with gees from my end of the world. I need a break from my landlord though, he once had the audacity to tell me that he was 'sponsoring my stay in Kampala', I wanted to throttle him but I had to smile nicely and tell him I was sorry his rent was late. Sheesh!

Having had that burden off my shoulders, I finally made it to the 'Yellow House' and found everyone else blasting. I duly joined in the celebrations and capped the night at about 1am.

Sunday morning and I was up at 6am for the MTN marathon. Becca, Carlo and Darlyne picked me up and we headed to Kololo. Huff puff muff and 1:13:21 seconds after some arbitrary start time, Franis Amuriat ambled over the finish line, begging for a pail of water.

So, I didn't register for the marathon and the Barefoot Power Firefly team had an extra number and chip which I put on and became Francis Amuriat from Amuriat.

It was pretty much winddown from there. Spliff, hammock, music, snatches of despicable me, sleep, drooling, long walk home with Richard and the weekend was over.

Today is Thursday and I still feel like I need a week of sleep.

You're Gonna Leave

2010-12-01T02:24:00.000-08:00

Uhh! Which way from here
I’m caught up in the pages of my mind
And it’s not so clear
But it seems the hurt is way too much this time
Cause I see a vain look in your eyes
Tell me, do you see the same, same look in mine
Sandpaper kisses, papercut bliss
Don’t know what this is, but it all leads to this
You’re gonna leave, her
You have deceived, her
Ooh just a girl

Now here I go again
She said I’ll break her heart again
She plays the fool again
She said I’ll break the rules again
Though I disagree
She thinks she knows me more than me
It’s so hard to see
What this voice keeps telling me
Ooh just a girl with featherweight curls
To expose all she knows you play like tease
Just a girl with featherweight curls
To expose all she knows you play like tease
You’re gonna leave, her
You have deceived, her
Ooh just a girl

Written by Stephen Marley, Martina Topley-Bird, Nick Bird, Steve Crittall and Alex McGowan

Banana Muffin

2010-12-01T00:08:00.000-08:00

Is this the best muffin in the world or what? Yuuummmm!

Missing Time

2010-11-29T07:22:00.000-08:00

The first time it happened, I was in S.4. It was the beginning of the school term and my friends and I had gone to engage in the opening term ritual.

On the first day of the school term, it was a custom for the more daring students to catch the next taxi back to Kampala after being deposited by their unsuspecting parents at the school. The point of this was to, well, boys will always be boys, so we would go and explore the city and have fun because, hell, there was nothing better to do at school. So, after saying bye to mommy and daddy and promising to do very well in class this term, and a suitable timeframe to give the parents a head start, I jumped on a taxi and headed back to Kla, thrilled at breaking the rules.

Lots of alcohol, pool games, meanderings and whatnot, I found myself in a bar near the old taxi park. It was much like any bar near the park, tall wooden stools, plastic chairs, pool table in the centre of the room, watched from above by a television that seemed to pick up a very clear STV signal.

"That TV is very clear" I remarked after losing a game of pool and it's the last thing I remember from that night. I hazily remember too, scurrying under the barbwire fence back into school but it might have been a dream. I woke the next day and on attempting to open my eyes found that I had zero vision in my right eye. I raised my hand and gently felt the contours of my face, the topology was changed, a few bumps here and there obscured all vision from the eye. I tried to recall the events of the previous night and drew a blank after the remark about the TV. I was still drunk and knew it would take at least a few days before I was right again. I tried to piece the missing hours and gave up after a tale of dogs and mad men in Nakivubo was relayed by my companions. It was the first time I had a blackout, it would not be the last.

Alcohol is nice, period, but like all things, if taken to the extremes, then disaster most likely follows. I believe that all human beings use something; you know, to dull the pain of reality, remove the inhibitions, that little voice that keeps saying you'll regret this in the morning. Some use people, substances, activities, and the list goes on and on. Alcohol is the only substance I have so far come across that gives me 'missing time'. Every time it happens, I wonder what the hell I do and say bse I can't remember anything. I allegedly once proposed to a girl.

As much as I want to escape the madness in my head, I don't like the idea that I be running around without any mental checks. I mean, it might spell disaster for the planet. I figured out early on what my threshold was and how many beers it would take to get me there. I also discovered that after the first few good pints, it becomes a job, sipping shit because you want to stay in that ka heightened state but knowing that you've probably just sped past that point when you're actually having a blast and the next stop is shitface town. So drinking became an art, figuring out how to prolong the euphoria and what to do when you've bypassed it by 10pm on a Friday night.

I used to have a simple rule about alcohol. No drinking was to be done if I was sad. I've broken this rule a million times in the past 18 months with devastating results. The last time I had a severe case of missing time was the Idd before last, I cozied up to a bottle of 'Absolut Death' and true to form I died. I woke up in the Bubbles' loo and I couldn't remember entering the place. I walked out, grabbed a baji home and swore off the sauce until further notice. I have since broken that rule twice more. Next year, I will not touch a drop, I think.

That being said. This christmas will see me do a couple of beers, for old time's sake.

Hey Baby

2010-11-29T03:01:00.000-08:00

I’ll be gone a while away from you and I hope you overstand,
that I’ve got to do what I must do to be a better man.
Coz if I was just to act a fool, do nothing with myself,
then all my blessings would be cursed, my world would crumble in.
It’s a joy when I sit down and think, of the good times that we have,
and what we do to make it through, when the good turns to the bad.
Well I hope you’ll find it in your heart and know these words are true,
and please don’t fuss because I must go do what I must do.

Hey baby don’t you worry, even though the road is rocky, I’ll be coming home to you again.
Coz if you thought that I was lost, I had to bear my cross, now I’m free from all these chains.

Well a time, a space, a different place, how perfect we might be
Coz I would be the wind that blows, you’d be that willow tree
And I could never bear the thought of you not by my side
So I would be the warmth of day you’d be the cool of night
And every day I pray to Jah that one day you will see
And overstand the fact I must fulfil my destiny
And I hope you find it in your heart and know my words are true
And please don’t cry you know that I must do what I must do

Hey baby don’t you worry, even though the road is rocky, I’ll be coming home to you again.
Coz if you thought that I was lost, I had to bear my cross, now I’m free from all these chains.

Well and it’s not easy
Jah knows how I try, I try
So don’t you get weary
Jah knows how I try, I try

Life is one big road
With lots of signs and turns and twists and curves
Even though the road is rocky,
My main thing’s to rock and keep it rockin’
From city to city, backyard to yard
And we be seeing the sights
Standing under the lights
and the spot is hot, it’s cold and lonely at night
And I’m ‘feenin’ and I’m dreaming and I’m holding you tight
But hold on, every single road I roll on
Comes to an end and I’m back home again
So baby please don’t cry
There’s no valley low, and there’s no mountain high
And our love don’t die with the passage of time
It just grows more and just keep strong
And even though I’m gone, I am never too far
You’re the light through the dark shining right through my heart
So my journey must start

Hey baby don’t you worry, even though the road is rocky, I’ll be coming home to you again.
Coz if you thought that I was lost, I had to bear my cross, now I’m free from all these chains.

............................................................................................................ Stephen Marley

Call of the Rastafari

2010-11-26T03:11:00.000-08:00

Mommy! mommy! mommy! I want to be a rastafari when I grow up!

I have a friend who keeps a blog subtitled "On the Road to Zion" which I hadn't visited in a while until a few minutes ago. She finally made her move into the style and fashion world, way to go Xiona, I'm rooting for you all the way.

I've been listening to Damian Marley these past few months and I can't believe I had never explored his music. First off, I'm a reggae fan, its always been uplifting music for me, I mean, who doesn't listen to Bob Marley's Three Little Birds and feel, you know irie?

Isaac, my philosopher and rastafari friend, had mentioned that most people have never explored the Marley kids' music and that he thought they were that much better than daddy, so I made a mental note to explore. I came across the Bruno Mars song with Damian Marley and the intro was enough to make me want to hear more and also finally try to learn this patois stuff.

Patois, according to Wikipedia, is any language that is considered nonstandard, although the term is not formally defined in linguistics, which is basically saying "it's some shit we don't quite understand". It sounds funky though, I mean, have you heard a guy speaking this stuff? It has a harmony to it that makes you want to sway, raise your hands to the sky and say hell yeah!

Anyway, I went and got Damien's albums by way of bittorrent, sorry Damian, and proceeded to sample dem tracks.

Damian 'Jr Gong' Marley was born July 21 1978. He was two years old when his father Bob Marley died and he is the only child born to Marley and Cindy Breakspeare, Miss World 1976. Damian's nickname Junior Gong is derived from his father's nickname of Tuff Gong. Marley has been performing since the age of 13. He shares, along with most of his family, a full-time career in music.

His first album was 'Mr Marley' which is rightly titled as it features many tracks from his dad's recordings and was released in 1996. I was then religiously losing mi religion. It leans more towards the traditional reggae style his father and others after popularised and was not a critical or commercial success. I particularly like 'Kingston 12', 'Me Name Jr Gong' and 'One cup of coffee' which has the following lines

'I brought the money like your lawyer said to do
Ain't nothing funny, babe I am still in love with you
Said I am leaving you tomorrow
I'll cause you no more sorrow
One cup of coffee then I'll go

Lord I say Susie Susie Susie mind you loose mi
Know mi love you bad yet you want to abuse mi
Try to treat you right but this affair confuse mi
Girl don't complain cause a you come fi choose mi
Mi sey Susie do, mind you loose mi
Though me love you bad and you want to abuse mi
Try treat you right but this a pure confuse mi
Gal no complain cause a you come fi loose mi'

Damian's next album was Halfway Tree which combines dancehall and hiphop styles to produce an amazing modern sound. The production (not that I know much about such stuff), done by his bro Stephen Marley, is amazing. The drums and hooks on this thing are off the shizzy, seriously! but the oustanding aspect is the lyrics and Damian's delivery. Its like listening to a prophet in biblical times.

'Di youths dem saying justice ah weh dem really need overall
Di way dem deal wid mankind.... All mi gyal start ball
Justice ah weh di youths dem need overall
Di way dem deal wid mankind

She nah go cry fi no guy inna nah 3 piece suit
Nor no pretty bwoy inna nuh crisp Nike boot
She nuh ball fi nah dapper
She nuh cry fi nah doop
She shed those lonely tears
For di little ghetto youths weh balling

Stary stary X-News and Gleaner
Foot might be dirty but his heart is much cleaner
And those politicians fightin down sensimillia
Get up every day dem want fi run this arena

Extra, extra.... read all about it
Ghetto youths in need and there is no doubt about it
If baby want feed and can't do without it
Big 45 goin to scout it'

My best song on this album is 'Catch a Fire'. It's got an amazing array of drums, vocals are superb and the lyrics, wooo hooo! Its an angry oppressed youth anthem, albeit with some misplaced ideas but breathtaking nonetheless. It makes me jump up and shout and shout and shout!

'We nuh want no Babylon government
Weh ah burn down ganja man tent
And den ah come wid dem one bag ah tax argument
When we can't pay light bill and rent
Mi sight dem ah lead ghetto youths
Every which part dem went
And ah pure wrong corner dem bent
So next time, dem pass thru you and your crew
Don't give dem no encouragement'

Now, there's this song titled 'Give Dem Some Way' that has the longest nonstop spit and fire verse of lyrics I've ever heard. Its downright genius! Its damn amazing, long and delivered in one burst of rhyme and flow that makes you wonder how good the guy's lungs are! It's got a ballistic beat and a nice flute to spice up the melody, you just have to sample it to know what I'm talking about. Here's the bit that kills me, after spitting all those words of revolution and power to the people, he goes "...Weh nuh rise till the revolution unfold" He he he..bide your time niggas, bide your time.

'You say that you love me, oh what happened to the love?' goes the hook up with Eve. Eve is the shit, the real deal when it comes to the female rap genre and I'm a lifelong fan. Except for catch a fire, this is the best collabo on the album. It brings out the blend of hip hop and dancehall in a most engaging manner.I mean, you feel powerless but to answer the girl's question and tell her, 'what happened to the love'. But wait, here's a sampling of Damian's lyrics

'What about di youths dem
Weh love fi breed off the girls
And still nah care for da youth dem
Wahapn to the boots dem
And hear wah mek go worse
Nuff a dem did have and nah use dem
Fire fi di bait who love using the girls
So friend can congratulate dem
Rasta nah rate dem
When dem abusing di girls
Gun shot for bwoy weh ah rape dem'

The album is overall a portrait of Damian's different worlds, his mother's more affluent uptown world and his father's roots in the ghettos of Kingston. Damian like all the Marley kids grew up as much in Rita Marley's household as in his mothers, infact Rita's household is considered the family HQ for all the Marleys. Bob had 8 kids outside his marriage to Rita (stray stray guy).

Welcome to Jamrock is Damian's most popular and successful album to date. Again, co-produced with his brother Stephen, it is his true coming of age as a musician. The combination of dancehall and hip hop started on Halfway Tree, like a good wine, truly matures to produce such gems as 'Beautiful' ft Bobby Brown.

This album is a masterpiece! Period. Hands down, pack your bags and go home.

'Cause them lost inna darkness beyond
And none shall escape except the ones, who
Exodus with no question,
Better put on your khaki uniform
If you-a' driver, leave unnu engine on
If you-a' rider jump pon a unicorn
Lace your shoes if you a pedestrian
Run for the border like a Mexican
Underarm smell green like a Leprechaun
Survival of Jah people'

'For the babies' is a song about, well, babies. Born and unborn. I have a personal experience with abortion and I have to say this song makes me feel very guilty.

'And always do your very best to keep a promise to your babies
And if you can't be good, at least be honest to your babies'

When I started taking the herb a couple of years ago, we called it 'going to Zion'. See, Zion is the last place where all of humanity's children will gather to celebrate life, like Tank says in the Matrix, 'If this war ended tomorrow, Zion is where the party would be.' Again, according to Wikipedia (thank you Jimmy Wales!),

'In the Rastafari movement, "Zion" stands for a Utopian place of unity, peace and freedom, as opposed to "Babylon", the oppressing and exploiting system of the western world and a place of evil.'

Personally, Zion is akin to Valhalla, the corner office, that place that people refer to when they say we've made IT, the forests of my homeland, etc. So, you can imagine my joy at finding this song (On the road to Zion) and finally, partly, understanding why Xiona's blog is subtitled thus. It has been my anthem for a while, hopefully Xiona doesn't mind me borrowing it, and it showcases the best of two worlds in Damian and Nas. It is probably the collabo that set the stage for this year's amazing, fantastic, beautiful, breathtaking, "Distant Relatives", Damian's work with the legendary Nas. I must confess that I had never really listened to Nas but after sampling this album. I have to bow down and chant RESPECT!

Sometimes you can lose sight of the things that matter in your world, lose focus and wander around aimless, sad, salty and bitter. This song has been a siren of hope, a call to which I was irresistbly drawn until I saw the light and heard the man say, 'We sparkin' the ions, marching to Zion / You know how Nas be NYC state of mind I'm in.' But again, listen to Damian go on this run

'In this world of calamity
Dirty looks and grudges and jealousy
And police weh abuse dem authority
Media clowns weh nuh know 'bout variety
Boom!

The youngest veteran a go murder dem slow
Ragga muffin sent to call me from the bush bungalow
Unnu watch mek I clear out my voice now Figaro!
Emerge from the darkness with mi big blunt a glow
Mi hammer dem a slam and spectator get low
Some bwoy coulda big like Bam Bam Biggalow
Bust of trigger finger, trigger hand and trigger toe
A two gun mi have mi bust dem inna stereo
Cause

I got to keep on walking on the road to Zion, man
We gots to keeps it burning on the road to Zion, man'

So, I'll see you in Zion and then I'll tell you about Distant Relatives.

Oh, and the best song on this album is 'We're gonna make it'.

"Yeah! Yes mi lion!
Always look on the brighter side of life, you know
Nuh must!

Now
Don't you ever give up
Don't you ever give in
Don't you ever give up
Don't you ever give in
Don't you ever give up
Don't you ever give in
We will have our way some day
Don't you ever 'dutty'
Cause a better you clean
Hail up King Selassie plus
Omega the queen
Don't you ever give up
Don't you ever give in
Cause I...

I know we're gonna make it
It's not too late, No!
We're gonna make it
Yeah
Yes I know
We're gonna make it
It's not too late
We're gonna make it,Yeah"

Below the line: Of the things you would know and measure

2010-11-22T23:47:00.000-08:00

Most things you think you know are imaginary, and sometimes friends can be too, like when you’re young and there’s a 60ft alien robot by your side and together, you kick ass.

We are taken with the measurement of things, as a species, without a counting and weighing, we would be adrift and dysfunctional in the world of man.

What does a number mean to you?

One. There is me, I am here.

Two. It takes this much to make the first, most journeys are coloured thus.

Three. The Trinity; there is no spoon, nothing and no one but you.

Four. A full quota for each window in Johari’s house and if a glass be your measure then a full cup of life unto you.

There are many ways to measure and count the things that matter in our lives today. Man, in his incomprehensible urge to weigh his world has coined a magnitude of terms for data that you can pore through to your heart’s content. Today, all it would take to get you the price of a Yak on the Tibetan plateau is a six letter word, Google. Wherever there is a need in nature or human life, there will arise someone or thing to fill it, if the price is right. Google however, cannot tell you the measure of life on the plains, to know this you must journey to the land where the Yak is king, where the air is thin, dry and cold but the grass grows still, where with axe and hammer, we raise our dead to the skies and when the earth moves, we move with the wind and water to heal, the heart of life that yet beats within.

I have been, for one part, trained and educated an economist. One of the pitfalls of this is that one is bound to take a ruler to the world and measure; to what intents and purposes, asks the farmer, why weigh my animals, crops and fields and tell me I needs must more yield? Is this not enough for your soul and spirit? Would you have me build the granaries of the world in my backyard, to feed your fancy whenever it takes you?

Aye, I say, for I too, are in want of a soothing balm, a tonic from the madness of the world, whence I can sit apart and attempt to balance the scales, and seek a measure of equality.

The economist says that you are poor; she would have you be more in the material and that it seems the years will pass you by and you will not be when there is need of you. Why will you not listen, why will you not work, why not till the land and bring forth nature’s gifts that you so richly deserve? In the stead of wealth, you chase after big deals and fleeting dreams and consumed by the need and want that cannot be satisfied, you would rend all in your path.

I, you say, seek to give that which cannot be measured and to take that which is freely given by the earth. The fig feeds millions in the forest, each taking turn when the time is right, but you will reserve your charity for those you deem to deserve, yet the fig takes its due too, blessing or curse.

Here is the line, if you are below, then your life is worth less than enough, says the economist. You are in need of ambition my brother; don’t stop reaching for a higher branch.

The economist in me knows where the line is, and despite being taught to avoid it with the fear of the reaper, I have wandered perilously close these many months past. See, the reaper is my friend, she was with me at the beginning of this tale and I will see her again, when it is wound up. You have nothing to fear, son of man, even if you should wander across many a line, forget not that the world is yours and you are king, and accord the farmer his due and he will let you drink of the life giving streams that run through his fields, says the reaper.

There is no fear in me, I cross the line of my own volition and tell myself that I am changed forever, I will not return I say, not the me that was. The me that would have waited for you, by the well, is gone. I have a pot of water and it must go back to the mother, for she would make life with it. I will look for you, on my next turn and throw of the die; I would have you in my picture, below or above the line.

Everything has a price. No; you will never truly understand this until you learn the wisdom of it in your own time. See, there are things human beings believe are beyond measure, like the love of God. The preacher by the wayside screams with fervent gestures, praying for your soul, certain of its damnation he has taken the mill upon his neck, he will save you, he says, so he screams and shouts at all that you do and yet he is only sound and fury to you, paying the price of an old tale whose light and love would ask that you burn out your heart. I stepped across the line and found many a prophet on the other side. If you would seek to be set up as judge, you must risk the hangman’s noose and be judged first and to be thus, is to open the door of your temple to the world, unafraid of its foundations. It is not an easy price to pay, some do it for money, some for love and others claim there is no measure of man for the things they do, but you are man, only man can measure and judge you.

What does it mean to be poor? I have often thought that it is to lack the will to build a life as you would wish it to be but there are measurements that most people hold as a standard; a roof over your head, food to eat, and a passion to while away the years but most important of all, people to share and love. Every human life should be dignified and respected and where does it start but in your own solitary husk and shell? When you live below the line, you fight for an identity that does not burn like paper; it is a struggle with inner demons that is only necessary for a lack and want of knowledge. You would seek to define yourself by the rolling hills and trees of the lands you come from; you say that to ask you to descend from the trees and share with the world your wit and intellect and view of the universe is to lay a heavy burden upon you, so you would do with speaking fees. Perhaps, the name of father and mother can be worn with pride or you will build from the ground and rise higher than yonder tower in Babel, whatever your concourse, you must find unity in your body, soul and spirit. The longer you wander the paths, the wilder your spirit grows, and you should be wary of it overcoming the soul and body.

I have always looked at the 'gentleman' on the street and known that but for a fortunate turn of events, there is me. Poverty is borne of fear, it is the desperation that tomorrow, there will not be enough, so you would gather all of yourself but never have enough for a day.

So, I shall look upon you on the street without pity or fear, for I am you too, I can be you if life should seek it of me again, but if I should have the power, I will rise and hope that one day, you will rise too and walk back to your home.

Reality Check

2010-10-27T08:24:00.000-07:00

Today, I didn't feel like getting out of bed. My alarm went off at seven am as usual, which is set 30min ahead so it was actually six thirty in the morning, I had woken up thirty minutes earlier to go to the loos, feeling the discomforts of an empty stomach, a fortnight of antibiotics and the dull heavy weight of the crumbling walls of that little house that is your world. It's always noiseless, even when you expect to hear a heavy thud and the splintering of wood, when that house that is your world falls. Why? I don't know, life is just that way, it moves, without expectation or heed to be held back for anything. Not even for you and me.

I lie awake and wonder what the hell I should do today. I have to make sure I put up the rugby website by the end of the day, then I have a to do list, carried forward from the last several weeks and months, with each item achieving a different rank and status, starting bottom of the list, making its way up and getting ticked off.

Don't you make lists? Of the many things you want, will, must or should do in life. I do. I find that it helps me to make sense of things. I do it in my head first, after looking at the picture as much as I can, I make a mental note that I will, for my part, add this to it. Sometimes its about starting a relationship afresh, with a new perspective on life as it should be. I once got it into my head that I should write a ten thousand word article, poem, story on something of great import, but that was a list I made sometime ago. I will tick it soon enough and send it off to the funny man, who sometimes just wants to be taken seriously.

So, I lay there, looking at my ceiling, wondering how to go out into the world today and make some money, because that is what my life has come down to. A simple game of numbers. I know it is so much more but I think I have somehow willed myself into this poverty and now it is all I can think about and how to truly escape it. Then I remember that I am just broke, not poor, for poverty is in the mind. It is, for those of you who are happy to be called 'poor in spirit' that cup of poison that renders your vessel inane and even if you should hide inside countless worlds, an empty heart is an empty house.

I read 'A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian' up to the chapter titled 'the triumph of the human spirit'. Valentina has just announced that her baby is Nikolai's, Nadezdha and Vera's eighty-four year old father, whom they have recently rescued from her clutches. The title amuses me, because I am always fascinated by that inner struggle of the human being. Do you think it lasts a lifetime? I have felt some deep and dark places within myself, felt anger against nothing and no one in particular but life itself. Funny thing is, you can't fight it; your own nature, maybe you can master and rule it but life is like a raging river, sometimes the rains make the torrents much more treacherous but you must always look inside yourself and remain true to what you think is just and fair in your world, if you would live by such currency.

My housemate gets up, at about eight-thirty. I hear the sounds of his morning rituals from the depths of Miss Lewycka's fascinating history of farm machines in a foreign land. I tell myself I am so far away, lost in the world of words to feel moved to start my day. He brushes, washes, irons and polishes. He dresses up, most often its a cotton trouser and shirt neatly tucked in over belly. Keys turn, doors open and close, cup, plate knife and fork knock and settle on hard surfaces. The television turns on, matchstick on tinder, puffs of smoke or maybe not today. He wants to quit smoking, he knows he should but he just can't bring himself to. He doesn't let it bother him. It will stop someday, insha Allah. His girlfriend comes by to pick him up at quarter past nine, she stays in Bukoto. They drive off. I have just about finished the chapter.

I think that I should go into town and do and be productive things, make some money, he he he. I have 2,700/=, I need to swallow some medicine, I need to put food in my stomach, I need to bring my business up to scratch, I need to push the PiFF further, I need to plan the next WorkZine issue. I need money. So much to do, so much life to live. Frack it, I say. I am staying in and writing some shit this morning. I will make my way into town later, via Davie's office.

What to do now. What to do. Hmmh? I boil some water for a shower, take a dump. Contemplate grand designs and simple acts. Kandole opens the back door and comes into the house, he no doubt wants his gees. I owe him a fifty for his cleaning and cooking services. I don't have it. I tell him he will have it soon enough. He washes the dishes; a cup, saucer and some cutlery. We excgange pleasantries, small talk, deaths, burials, rains, people back home. He attempts to boil some water, the extension blows. The power's been messed up lately, load-shedding and whatnot.

I decide to have some form of breakfast. I will buy a chapu and that nice fried cassava; if I keep this up, I will grab Kwashakor and what kind of story will that be? Huh? I put on a pair of jeans and pink PiFF tee shirt. I walk to the shops, purchase my breakfast and walk back home brewing a long tale. Ten thousand words, surely I must have that much garbage somewhere upstairs.

As I walk up the driveway, I find a little girl standing outide the neighbour's house. She's dressed in pink sweatpants, white t-shirt and a pink sweater. White sneakers cover her feet. She's smiling and jumping around like only little children know how. I smile, wave and greet her and then walk to my door. She stares after me, waves and then walks towards me.

"What is your name?" I ask
"Kouka" she replies
"Where is your mother? I mean mummy"
"Mummy has gone to work on her computer."
We chat a little, I tell her I'm called "Kuku" and then I say bye but she won't leave. So I sit on the steps and hear some more about Kaka and a best friend called Nicole Mugisha. Kouka or Koka is three years old and already has a best friend. I need me a best friend, I think.

I manage to coax Kouka back to her Kaka's house and tell her that I'm off to work on my computer as well.

Sometimes I feel like a failure, like I've wasted my chances in life. I have no doubt had the opportunity to be better off than I am today. I have been taught better. Yet, I have not done it. Despite knowing the folly of it, I have lived a carefree life since I discovered the world could be how I chose to see it. Well, there is no such thing as a carefree life, we all have shit we care about. Every man must weigh and measure his world and accord that which he esteems above all else, his undying loyalty.

Life has simple rules. You play with fire, it burns you. Bite the hand that feeds you and you'll go hungry. Amaizi tigakalegama aha gatakalegamaga. Be water.

Helicobacter pylori (HEL-uh-koh-BAK-tur) (py-LOR-eye)

2010-10-09T05:25:00.000-07:00

Aaah! This is the nigga up in my biz. Some goddamn bacteria that causes peptic ulcers; that is all a man has to show for almost two years in a self destructive fit, all of course of his own making because we are nothing more than the constructs of our feeble minds. {fcuk society;-) fcuk society} I would like to think that I have been dark places but often I don’t think am that much different from anyone else, sometimes I think I’m just like most people, a little bit lazy some of the time, a little bit nice another time.

I have weighed and measured the things that matter in my world, played God and like most men, have wondered what to do with those that don’t quite measure up. Life is a journey, and I guess within it, a series of journeys to different places with different people. Sometimes you will meet people you would walk forever forward with, oftentimes paths diverge but life for its greater portion is a complex and beautiful tapestry of journeys, perhaps crisscrossing the face of the earth with those you would hold dear to your heart. I have weighed and I have measured; with time, there will be an equal count, for I am sworn to teach, even if there is but one student, myself.

I know there is a kind of love that transcends the self, the kind with which a loyal dog gives its life for its master’s, one man for the fate of a people. I also know the love of another, the kind of love that wraps you up and takes you that much higher with it, til you would fly high above the world and see your true form, naked and untethered. I would feel that love again; when it wills it will visit me perhaps once more. I would that it will not rend me to bits if it should find a want in me, for I am in need of water, this desert burns me so, I would drink of your fountain and soothe my spirit.

I have been taken, by things. Things I think are bigger than me; wants, wills and desires. I will that I would be bigger, so that I would carry that much more. Yet I have seen this before, I would lose myself in a love of the world and forsake my own heart, for I would believe that it cannot be made whole, that it cannot suffice. Who would you say is less? The fool that rounds the world chasing Liberty or he that gives his heart to the lass. I would gladly follow either man any other day than lay there and waste away, but today, today I would lie here and push these buttons and leave be for a little while, for I am weary and in need of respite from the sharp edges of the world.

I have been bound and kept together, even when I felt like letting go, by a motley band of friends; family that I will for my part be forever bound to. I will that I would be worthy of mentioning names but I am afraid that it would only seem vain worship to put them next to such worthless words. I would do more, I shall be more. There is a grand mystery about life, in that it’s more often that you find that which you seek in places you were never looking. I am lucky to know all you damn human beings, even though you suck sometimes.

I will know love in whatever form; be it the kind that would run rivers down your cheeks, be glad that you would know and hold such depths for I like you have waded such icy waters and I am that much better for it. I will break your heart, if you give it to me, for mine is an intellectual love; it would not be bound by this earth and realm. It would seek to know the heart of that which you call God and move unto the beyond. I shall surely break your heart, and I will be sorry for it.

There is nothing. I have felt it; it is a place of levity where the future forks in countless directions. If you will hold such depths in your mind, you would see how much gentler and fairer life is unto you. For you are still here, so you can do right and move on, even today. We should all seek to rise above our selfish base natures; we make countless proclamations of our desires to do so and yet lay claim to these hunting grounds with excuses of being only human. Would you that will you see our true human forms; that you would seek for a man to lay his base nature before you, naked as the day he came forth? I would say you ask too much of any man, yet this man would prostrate his mortal form before you and beg that you show compassion and kindness to the next soul and spirit.

Most often than not, the people who hold the world together are those you least expect. I have walked by a four year old street child who while falling asleep on the curb, holds out his hands high above his head, palms outstretched.
“Alms for the poor. Alms for the poor.”
You cannot honestly tell me that there is dignity there and yet behind those shaking hands are mouths waiting to be fed. Is it right? Is it fair? On yours and my watch while we are still able to, will we? I know that life in its grand mystery provides, and despite our shortcomings as individuals and human beings, the whole silently plods on, forever seeking, to be better, the next time round.

Your world is as it is because those who came before, and you, bound it that way, the future is yours, do as you will but remember the earth and life itself is that much grander than you can ever hope to know, yet you shall surely know something before she comes for you, for everyone gets a lifetime, nothing more, nothing less.

Happy Birthday Dimples; and all you october babies.

2010-09-29T07:17:00.000-07:00

Becky is the sweetest girl I know.

There are times when I despair so much that I want to find a lonely corner of the world and spend my days planting veggies and rearing past leaders, then I remember you and that way you smile. The way you look at the world, always with childlike wonder, the faith and hope that you hold within and all the love that you share.

It is a delight, to see you grow into the ever beautiful person that you become, and an eternal blessing to call you friend.

May you always know the love that endures.

Um, apparently there aretons of you born in October (allegedly my big bro as well), a happy birthday to y'all.

OCTOBER by =DennisChunga on deviant ART

The PiFF Mentorship Program

2010-07-27T05:46:00.000-07:00

So, the PiFF is coming up with a mentorship program and we would like to know if any of you is interested?

Song of the Weaver

2010-07-21T02:45:00.000-07:00

I am love
"I am love"
I am compassion
"I am compassion"
I am the infinite mystery
I was never born
I will never die
I was at the beginning
I will be at the end
I was sown to the winds
I will move in the moment
I was raised to the stars above
I will dance in the sunshine

There is peace
"There is peace"
Out in the infinite Universe
The child clings to the Father's hand
And the world moves beneath his feet
You will be shadow
"You will be shadow"
You will be light
"You will be light"
You will be all that there was
All that there will be
You will be you
"I will be me"

I am war
"I am war"
I am the emptiness of the child
I am the well of rage in Mephisto's realm
I am sadness
I am the unkind word before a meal
That makes fire and ice
I am the Horseman
I am not yet come

"I am love"
I am love
"I am compassion"
I am compassion
I was born to the Old Woman
I was born to the fair maiden
She was a warrior woman
Fierce love as in old Aeden
I am you
"You are me"
I am the monk atop the lonely mountain
You are me
"I am you"
I am the father of the man
I am love
"I am love"
I am compassion
"I am compassion"

Om Mani Padme Hum

2010-07-19T16:03:00.001-07:00

There is a girl called Sharon, she knows the reason why there are five fingers on a hand. If you chance across her, ask her why.

See, I went to see my Uncle on Saturday; I wanted to practice the teachings of compassion. I told myself I could only ask one thing, to be me. To meet the man I felt had said an unkind word after breakfast as an equal. I am still humbled in his presence.

And I gave him a hug.

I have Karma, people, I have Karma.

Zen

2010-07-19T13:09:00.000-07:00

I drift in the aether. A man once laughed it away but you and I know, that things move and the heart budges. There are tales you see, those that only the water can tell, and they move, in and out of the aether, in a flash and a lifetime. Pray tell, fellow drifter, where is she? That took my heart that fateful night, And showed me wonder and delight...

The Harvest by Carmessi

Midnight in the garden of good and evil

2010-07-17T21:15:00.001-07:00

"My heart leaps up when I behold

A rainbow in the sky:

So was it when my life began;

So is it now I am a man;

So be it when I shall grow old,

Or let me die!

The Child is father of the Man;

I could wish my days to be

Bound each to each by natural piety."

William Wordsworth 1802.

He awoke with a start, drew a deep breath and grimaced as the piercing cold air entered his lungs. A wave of pain engulfed him; he felt it spread from the base of his skull across the right side of his head. A sharp pain poked and prodded like an imp with the devil's own pitchfork was trying to escape its prison. He held it tightly in his hands, spreading his fingers to hold as much of it as he could. He felt the poking move to his right eye, screaming in agony, he pressed his palms down on the eye and then he felt consciousness leaving him. He passed out, tumbling to the forest floor his head coming to rest a few inches from the trunk of a dead Baka tree.

The forest was dark. Scattered showers of light escaped the dense canopy of the Baka trees, painting an endless twilight for the creatures that lived on its floor. There was only night and distant light, it was the land of the eternal forest night. Vines covered the floor, twisting and twining around the tree trunks and branches of the fallen trees. Hued with the lightest shade of blue, the elongated tendrils and leaves glowed with the most delightful display of nightlights; it was as if the stars themselves had come down from the heavens. A soft wind blew, whipping the lights in all directions, there were patches of water that formed pools around the stumps and dying roots of the fallen trees, reeds grew in them.

The water is still where the reeds lie and sway, though it be by that river of old, and there is a tale told by the weavers that only those born of the clan are told. It is not that bedtime story, nor is it the tattletales' song of who did what with whom and where, no, it is a story that only the weavers know, and only the weaver knows its ending.

The Weaver spoke to her son, on that flight to the Kingdom of Old, where the dragons reign. He said, you have a soul mate, and then there's something about having three more and then life is just weird, but nice at the same time. The Weaver's son speaks.

Out there, when all on this good earth has long since gone, for we are nothing but mirrors of the past, except, that we can move on! A ship will sail to the lands of the weavers, a mother will feel her son taken as the weaver turns, bowing as the old prophecy has foretold, "The Child is father of the Man; I could wish my days to be Bound each to each by natural piety."

HDTV 1^st True Experience!

Howl's Moving Castle

Going Kinetic?

2010-07-14T06:21:00.001-07:00

In the wake of Sunday's bombings, a lot of anger threatens to blind most well meaning Ugandans. I would advise caution as to the way forward. First off, until the police produce evidence as to who the perpetrators might be, we are in the dark and every assumption is just that. The media has propagated the theory that the Somali militants, Al Shabaab, are responsible but no proof has been put forward and only their threats issued last year are being used to fan the flames of suspicion.

We also need to know who is in charge of what. The problem with most of our institutions is that they almost always fail to stand when they are expected to do so. We saw the army, police, fbi, I'm sure the cia, cmi and all those super secret agencies were there long before any others arrived (I doubt it though) but we still don't quite know who is in charge of what.

Apparently, suspects were arrested but we don't know from where and who they are because of the sensitive nature of the incident. I say that's a load of crap, and I don't use the word lightly. The idea of national security superseding basic human rights has been practiced by western governments and condoned sheepishly by many due to unwarranted fear. It is in such moments that evil men will take away the very last freedoms you possess on this earth, that men actually willingly give up their freedoms because of some faceless enemy. I'm almost certain someone is going to suggest we rush the phone tapping bill through parliament because of things like this, that we declare war on a people on one side of a conflict that we hardly understand. Why is it so hard to see that a calm, considered and measured response is what is called for here.

No, we will not slink away in the face of such reckless hatred but neither should we become that which we abhor.

Personally, I think there's a lot more sinister stuff to this attack and I for one would want an independent media that will not feed me everything the government gives it as fact. Here are the facts as far as I can tell

Explosive devices went off in Kampala
People of different nationalities were killed (76 in total)
The police hinted that they suspected Al Shabab militants but did not provide any proof whatsoever
Al Shabab spent Monday morning congratulating the mujahedin who had carried out the attack but did not claim any direct involvement
Al Shabab claimed responsibility for the attacks on Monday afternoon
I don't quite know why the hell people are fighting in Somalia. I know it has a lot to do with Ethiopia and Eretria, religion and of course I'm sure there's a mercantile interest somewhere
There are thousands if not millions of Somali refugees in Uganda
They are people like you and me and do not deserve to be discriminated against unjustly
Any such discrimination and the hatred it grows from will only serve to undermine our strength as a nation, our ability to bind together when we need to.
We are one nation, different peoples but one nation, if we lose that then we're doomed.
Respect Life, bind yourselves together for you will not survive the future otherwise.
The Enemy is War!

"Hmmm…I sense great fear in you Skywalker. You have anger. You have hate. But you do not use them."

"fear is the path to the dark side, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering....If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will"

All Life is Sacred

2010-07-12T05:15:00.001-07:00

And the monk said, "If you should fear to lose your life, to the bright rays of the sun, and in that cave on the mountain your fear should fester and breed. Look upon the earth, see the millions of creatures, with whose lives you would play God, look up to the sky and know this; the sacred breath will endure, one day, the Universe will die and then live again, but you, you will endure."

Do Something

2010-07-10T02:06:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETKB5ka_bAk

Macy Gray inspires me endlessly, when I'm listening to her, it's like hearing my random thoughts put in words and I'm like YES! That's what I'm talking about! This time round, she's managed to tell me that "There is beauty in the world", so, I'm gonna be "The Sellout" and go get me some of that beauty. A long time ago however, she told me that if I wanted my life to amount to anything, then I had to "get up, go out and do something".

The music is for the people, enjoy, and those of you who can should go and buy her latest album coz she bankrolled the whole thing herself and she's got family to feed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nl__oJH6XQQ

One way or another, be inspired!

Do Something by Macy Gray

Like Cleopatra

Got the masses at my feet

Got a living dwell

Down on easy street

I'm the latest craze (oh yeah)

And if you stay a while

Inevitably

You gone be bitin' my style

In your later days (well, well, well)

Let me tell you what is fact

And what is true

I get high and that aint that much to do

I'm always in a daze (uh huh)

That was just a dream I had

Last night in my bubble bath

Next to my wishing well

Oh yeah, you betta

Get up, get out

And do somethin'

Don't let the days of your life pass you by

You got to

Get up, get out

And do somethin'

How will you make it if you never even try

Get up, get out

And do somethin'

Can't spend your whole life tryin' to get high

You got to get up, get out

And do somethin'

'Cause you and I have to do

For you and I

What's been happenin'

How you doin'

Where you been

I'm further behind now

Than I was back then

Lost in some old maze (uh huh)

Some years have passed me by

All I want is to go get high

I'll get it together

Some other day

In my dreams I dwell (uh huh huh)

'Cause all my dreams are swell (woo, woo, woo)

You would too

If you could see them

That's what I know

I gotta go

Get up

Get out and (yeah)

Heaven's at my feet

Got a living dwell

Down on easy street

I'm the latest craze (uh huh)

It's just a dream I had

Last night in my bubble bath

Next to my wish--yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah

Why don't you do somethin'?

Truth and Justice

2010-07-04T13:32:00.000-07:00

I cannot fly, away from this rock, into the sun. I cannot run, faster, than that bullet of love. I cannot see, what lies are in your heart. But I can stand, on these two feet of mine, in light and dark . I can stand for you and me, I can stand in LOVE!

The Trouble With Being Myself

2010-06-28T07:00:00.001-07:00

So sorry to keep you waiting, never meant to be unkind, I think I've found my purpose, in the process I lost my mind. It's been a crazy life, (it's been a crazy life) but we still have the night, (but we still have the night) and if you say you love me, (and if you say you love me) I think I'll be alright (I think I'll be alright) yeeeeah! (wooooooo!)

......................................Macy Gray

Being You: Love

2010-06-22T05:34:00.000-07:00

“K’naan man, Love or fear, choose one.”

Huh! Well, let me ask you something, let me ask everyone actually, sweetie, I didn’t say it, the love...

Yo! What’s the proportion of the Universe’s harmony equal to? “LOVE!”

What’s the voice in us, forcing us to favour truth? “LOVE!”

What’s pain and anguish, strangled, vanish in the face of? “LOVE!”

What’s the missing link, what language do the silent voices sing? “LOVE!”

I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t admire you so what’s between I and you? “LOVE!”

What’s the ocean breeze, why do men get on their knees? “LOVE”

What’s life without love like fights without cause and rights we strike off?
What’s the deal between the ‘eyes off’ what is it that I can’t hide other than when I cough? “LOVE!”

It’s Love that’s the opposite of greed and hateful things, it’s not symbolized by diamonds but it does revolve like rings, and time marches into the canvases of uncertainty, damaging our predictions and conditions we set like amnesty, I’m hard to hate. And whether I’m gifted with the poetry I spit is a far debate, I’m living a rhyming state and stealing drops of my soooul and the energy I put forth can sink an army wave. Coz that’s love you see, it’s not soft, it’s the hardest thing to attain, its freedom when you’re detained, leave it to me and I’ll explain. Coz it’s dead to me, like ma, mommy and daddy and sister and wifey and pens and pads of random thoughts that borders the same struggle of human truth!

Who’s to say what my words are?

“LOVE!”

That’s what’s up.
....................................................Spoken Love by K'naan

Being You: Good and Evil

2010-06-14T05:47:00.000-07:00

Human beings tend to think that evil is external, that it will come from without and corrupt your soul if you let it but what, if I may ask, is evil? Is not evil the selfish act that denies another human being a fair chance at life? Is it not that unyielding hatred that sets one nation against another generation after generation? Is it not the inaction of a man who will not come to the aid of his brother because it is not his duty? Is it not that tempest stirring in your heart, driving you to the extreme in your quest to avoid pain and experience pleasure? Is it not the ignorance with which you unquestioningly receive another man’s wisdoms and truths without any questing for the truth on your part?

Every evil that has been and will be wrought upon the world is the consequence of man’s actions. There is a law of unintended consequences that states that; for every action you take (consciously or subconsciously), there will be at least three results that you could never in your wildest dreams have predicted. Your obligation as the instigator of these acts is to mitigate whatever results from them, it is your sacred duty to ensure that no one is knowingly harmed or placed in danger of possible harm against their will as a result of your actions, for the evil man is one who cares not whom he hurts in his pursuit of what he thinks is rightfully his.

You have the power to affect and change your world and the reverse is true. You will do good and evil in the world for that is what it means to be human. Take no man’s wisdom as truth unless you know it as “the self” but always heed its warning; do not take advantage of those less knowledgeable that yourself for unbeknownst to you, your life is meaningless without them. Be ever mindful of your emotions, they have the power to carry you to great heights but they can plunge you to unknown depths just as well. Beware of extremes, there is knowledge there but it comes at a price and sometimes it is not easily paid.

Life is about finding a balance, your own center, wherein you are at peace with the world as it is; all you can hope for is that the world finds a way of being at peace with you as you think you should be.

The root of all evil is the selfish act that is not tempered by the awareness of others and as such is the selfless act the root of all that is good between us in this world.

Being You: Soul, Spirit and Body

2010-06-14T05:45:00.000-07:00

“Life has loveliness to sell...” so goes the poem Barter by Sara Teasdale.

Sometimes we forget what is around us; when life gets a little tight as it is bound to do, we have the ability to see only the negative things affecting us. Everything that happens in the realm of human experience can be put in a context that can be understood by even the most simple minded; shit happens, deal with it!

Everyone has a choice in what they do, and what anyone does is simply follow a path in life. On this path, you will encounter things and people; you will witness events, and from all this you must find knowledge that is both useful for everyday life and most importantly for nourishment of the self. Each and every one of us feels that there is a part of them that is different from every other person on this good earth, that I imagine is what many of you call the soul, and knowledge of that is only truly personal.

You will all do and feel things in your life but what matters most is the spirit in which you do them. I have been taught that a “spirit of brotherhood” should guide my actions towards my fellow man and methinks that’s not a bad thing to do. I am a million faces and voices, I am legion but I come in peace and brotherhood and there is no trickery in me. J

Your body is the temple of your soul and the spirits that live within you; it is the only physical thing over which you have any degree of control. It has been called the greatest instrument at your disposal and it is up to you to choose how you treat it. It is the only medium through which you can interact with the world and it speaks a language like no other, for one smile can lift many a cloud and one frown break a heart.

We all desire love and respect for the thing that we call “the self” and if we truly believe that charity begins at home then self respect is the first step towards earning respect from any other human being.

“Surely you know that you are God’s temple and that God’s spirit lives in you! So if anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy and you yourselves are his temple.”

There is more meaning in that verse than in the countless empty words you will come across in life. If you profess a belief in God, then take one day and live as if his spirit has come alive in you, let all your actions be judged by your glimpse of him and discover what lessons can be learned from that.
Have dignity and self respect; that is where it starts.

Being You: Facade

2010-06-11T04:04:00.001-07:00

Human beings like being lied to, yes; we seem to have an affinity for it. If it wasn’t for that fact, we who put words together probably wouldn’t have a job. In reality, when stripped of all emotion, life is simply boring and repetitive, human interaction is what keeps people going. Even the mightiest of us all has to concede that without the rest of us, there would be no way to define his or her might. Most of us walk around with the belief that we are somehow engaged in a worthwhile venture, that what we do on some level matters even if we don’t understand it. We are for the most part content to believe that we are somehow part of a greater purpose but when it comes down to what we feel and believe independent of “other people”, we, for the most part, don’t have a clue as to what we are doing.

People come together for all sorts of reasons but the primary urge we have behind all our actions is survival. Hardcoded within our DNA is a will to survive like no other for men will endure seemingly eternal torment and fight against unimaginable odds just for a breath of free air. Yet when we are satisfied and our thirst quenched, there are still desires within us, things that we don’t quite understand.

As a child, I came to understand that sometimes other people just don’t want to know anything about your feelings, that in fact, they would rather chew tin foil than listen to you prattle about how life is unfair to you. I also understood that sometimes it’s not that they don’t care but that, well, “everyone goes through shit” and no one has the right to transfer their shit onto someone else unless they are responsible for causing it or they willingly take it up, kind of like the Christian doctrine of bearing each other’s burdens. I understood that there are certain people in life that you expect to be there for you, people you can count on and in my mind the very least you can expect from them is honesty.

The world is the self; your world is what you know and no more, know more.

On Liberty: “There is no fate but what we make”

2010-05-31T03:06:00.001-07:00

"The grand, leading principle, towards which every argument unfolded in these pages directly converges, is the absolute and essential importance of human development in its richest diversity."
Wilhelm Von Humboldt, Spheres and Duties of Government

These are the first words on my copy of J.S. Mill's "On Liberty", after a lengthy but interesting introduction. It is a book that has the potential to change the way you look at the world, and if, perhaps, you are receptive enough, you might chance across a companion on your relentless march towards "freedom".

What does it mean to be free?

There is a conscious thought I remember attaining when I was much younger. It was very clear to me, given that which I knew, that every human being was pretty much the same and that everyone had the right to act in a manner that one independently felt was in one's best interests, a manner that maximised one's experiences of life but a manner that above all did not directly or indirectly cause harm to any other individual, to the best of one's knowledge; but we all know, ignorance doesn't count.

It was the thinking of a child and I couldn't quite frame the argument to satisfy the situations I encountered everyday but I still felt that there was some truth in it. As a young boy, I struggled with various questions of meaning and existence. I wondered why one person had the right to expect anything from another, whether there was anything that was freely given in this world and whether in the grand scheme of things it mattered. Whether there was truly justice, whether somehow everything evened out. I know now, that there are as many answers to these questions as there are human beings on this earth because when it comes to the beliefs we hold dear, "one man's paradise is another man's prison".

I have always been in search of an identity; an answer to the question that I believe plagues every human being at one point in their lives if they are so unfortunate as to be of average cognition or better.

Who and what am I?

The inquiry itself is an affirmation of the individual's existence and independence of thought, for to ask who one is, is to accept the premise that one exists (is) apart from something else and to ask what one is, is to likewise accept the premise that one exists (is) as a part of something else. I have found that the answer to that question is perhaps partly an answer to the question of freedom.

Everything begins and ends with the "self", for the most part. The question of who and what you are can only be answered by you but you must understand that in making up your mind as to how you wish to define the "self" and express it, you are bound by the laws and rules of humanity.

One of the most important things imparted to a child is the ability to distinguish between right and wrong. Every society has a mechanism (education) by which it does this and we (human beings) seem to be agreed on the fact that in a child's formative years, before they come of age, that duty lies with the parents, immediate and extended family (humanity).

I am my mother's son, I am a human being, and I was born to love. That for me is all the identity I will ever need.

Are there innate ideas?

John Locke propounded the theory that there are no innate ideas, that the human mind is from birth a "tabula rasa" and that any human being is the product of their environment and education. Where you are born, what you see, do and learn as a child, the people you come into contact with, all these are things that will shape and determine what kind of person you become.

Given that that is true (has been observed to be true for the most part), what then remains of a person if you remove all the conditioning and traits that are learned from birth? Do you remain with something that is pure? If so, then pure what?

It was impressed upon me from an early age, than one of the most important things I could ever do in life was understand what was inside of me. This was introduced to me from a religious point of view; I was taught that God's spirit resided in me and that I must at all times be conscious of this fact and endeavour to let it flow through my works. I was taught that I was merely an instrument doing "God's work" and of course that God was good, all knowing, all powerful and all those attributes that he or she is given.

I was introduced to the idea of good and evil from that perspective, taught that evil was external and would take advantage of any weakness in me to use and despoil "God's instrument" to its own ends. I was taught to jealously guard my mind and body against "evil" thoughts and influences, to believe that he who thought "evil" was as damned as one who practised it.

I believed all this with the mind of a child but I guess what stood out for me was the idea that there was "something" inside of me that was pure, that was good, that needed to be guarded and protected from outside influence.

I have since been fortunate or unfortunate enough to rid myself of religion but some of the teachings still remain with me. The idea that we are all born in an equal state, endowed by who or whatever created us with certain traits and abilities that make each one of us unique yet are sufficient for the purposes of our human lives.

Does the self exist before and after the body? What is its constitution before and does anything physical have any effect on what it is after it leaves the body? Where does it go after leaving the body? Is this state/place similar to what it is before birth? Do we have any concrete and practical knowledge of this state?

These are some of the questions that will plague me till the day I die, however, I realise that there can be no definite answers to them. At best, I will arrive at a theory or an idea that hopefully explains the observable patterns that I believe reflect them, at worst; I will plod on, none the wiser.

I believe that there is such a thing as "the human spirit", a code (if you like) against which everything we encounter is measured and that this human spirit helps us to choose our actions. I believe that life is a constant struggle to find a balance between our knowledge of "the human spirit" and of "the self". Everything we do in our lives is based on what knowledge we have of these two "entities", for lack of a better word, and the physical world, but I think it would be wise for us to understand that one supersedes the other, that no matter who you think you are, the earth and humanity were here long before you came along and will be long after you are gone and that there is knowledge contained within the collective conscience of humanity that any individual disregards at their own peril. This is essentially human society as we know it, yet even when it seems so big, powerful and almost impersonal, we must never forget that its rules and laws were created by human beings like you and me and that just as you and I are prone to error, so were they too and any knowledge, values, customs and beliefs that society wishes us to adopt must be measured against our knowledge of "the self" and the world and adopted or discarded as and when we see fit for ourselves.

We are, after all is said and done, in the business of survival as a species (pamoja), and "mother nature" in her infinite wisdom seems to have equipped us with the ability to evolve, to change, to adapt, to become better. It is in this spirit that we commend those of us who are brave enough to venture forth against the unknown; that we esteem those of us who in their daily lives stand tall against forces that would bring us to our knees and most importantly it is in this spirit that we create bonds between each other, bonds we hope will stand the test of time.

Is the individual supreme?

It is the sole duty of any individual to acquire knowledge and training that develops their physical and mental faculties to the best of their abilities. The process of learning, for any individual, lasts a lifetime and will never cease until he or she has drawn their last breath. It is this knowledge that helps a human being eke out whatever meaning or joy they can from this life. The nature of this knowledge may be internal or external but what is most important is that our understanding of it must be internal; any creed to which we lend allegiance must be reconciled with our internal culture and beliefs or else we are nothing but empty vessels echoing dead and empty beliefs.

Every person is aware of themselves, of their ability to feel pain and pleasure and of the distinction between the two. The idea that we (human beings) are inherently selfish comes from the recognition that we do our best to avoid pain and maximise pleasure. If a human being existed in a state wherein they did not have to account for their actions, then there would be no limit to how one person can express themselves in their pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of pain, however we live in a society with other human beings who feel pretty much the same things we feel (with varying degrees of intensity) and as far as we can tell, the only way by which we can hope to have any meaningful existence, is by association and interaction with our fellow human beings (nature counts too J). This fact calls for you to investigate and determine what may be meant by the idea that you are in possession of an "inherently selfish nature" and that anything you do, is first and foremost about yourself.

There is an aphorism that goes thus; "Charity begins at home." This could be applied to a myriad of situations in human life but for our purposes here we will look at the beliefs and ideas we espouse and give intellectual weight. If you profess to believe something, then it is right and fair that society expect you to act and behave according to said belief because only then can any other human being have any just expectation of you. Any belief must stand on the actions of those who profess to hold it, any act contrary to the belief only serves to undermine or diminish its intellectual weight (as far as practical application) though it does not necessarily render the belief false.

Let's take the example of "the right to life." In this day and age, it is universally agreed that all human beings have a right to life, and that no other human being has the power or authority to unjustly take that away from any other. However, in a world with more than six billion people and a myriad cultures and customs, this right is trampled on day in and day out but despite whatever justifications have been put forth by any man or group of men for the act of "murder", it remains, in the universal consciousness an undesirable act that goes against our very nature.

Then there is the case for suicide, assisted or otherwise; if every human being has the right to their life, is it therefore wrong for another human being to take their own life on their own terms?

So what power does society have?

Society sets the rules and makes the laws of the day. In this pursuit, it is guided by the sum of all human knowledge prior to and including its time. Now here's the trick, those who make and set the rules are human beings just like you and me; they share the same ignorance any other human being has, they don't know everything. To put it better, there is nothing known that you cannot know. If you have the means and the will you can learn all that can be learned but even all that knowledge is useless if you do not engage in what you yourself would term as a meaningful life.

Those who would seek for society to tell them how to live their lives, as long as they are of age and at no great disadvantage, both mentally and physically (even among these are some of the most amazing examples of "the human spirit"), are nothing short of lazy.

Life itself has equipped you with all you need to survive but sometimes it's hardJ; how you live your life is your business as long as you reserve this right for every other human being, society should leave you alone, unless of course, you like the attention.

The sum of all knowledge is love

2010-04-27T05:59:00.000-07:00

There is nothing known, there is nothing written in stone, except love.

I'm OK, you're OK.

2010-04-26T08:49:00.000-07:00

This has been hard but I am me again, with all the hidden emotions, for better or worse. The truth thing is over people, I will lie through my teeth like the rest of you. Ciao

“The Dreaming”

2010-04-20T05:10:00.001-07:00

This little guiding plant of mine, I'm gonna let it burn,
This little guiding plant of mine, I'm gonna let it burn,
This little guiding plant of mine, I'm gonna let it burn,
Let it burn, all the time, let it burn.

There is a story they tell, of a man called Moses who saw a burning bush, and that God spoke to him through this burning bush.

"Son, I am the shit this side of the Sahara, I made you and I can break you. I am the most magnificent, most...most everything really. So you gotta do what I say, okay?

"Nigga, what the ****?"

"Watch your language, the last time your lot went this way I had to flood the whole thing to put out the fires. Now please don't make me go through too elaborate an illustration to prove to you that, as aforementioned, I am the what?"

"The m*** shit this side of the Sahara?"

"Nigga, language please!"

"But you said.."

"Hush. Go tell that man to let my people go, tell him to let them be free. Tell him, the Almighty, the most...most everything really, says it must be so.... Hmmm, I need a dictionary."

"A what? Nigga, you talking crazy; you know Pharaoh? I aint stickin my neck out for niggas that can't do shit for themselves; you should see them, by the thousands hauling block after block, whining that God has forsaken us. Fighting and even killing each other; Nigga, do something for yourself....Um, I'm talking about them, not you.

Tell me anyway, who the hell are you and why the, um, hell should I do anything you say?"

"Now we're getting somewhere, I am the most awesome, most...amazing, hah! Most...most everything really. Damn! Okay, listen up; go tell that man, that this guy you pray to every night; that he's the shit and he can kick his guys' shit to Miletus. Tell him that I have finally heard their cries of agony, I was roaming you know, sometimes the network can be shitty. Anyway, I am back in this biz like a bad case of halitosis and I say enough is enough."

"Nigga you dumb? You want me to go in front of Pharaoh and say what; that my god sent me, blah blah blah, and expect him to hand over the keys to the kingdom? In case you aint noticed, I don't speak too good, and those people of yours, they don't take too kindly to other people telling them what to do. No, that's just wrong, a nigga needs some backup, you know."

"Aaaah, you're into magic tricks? Yeah? You seen the one with the stick and the snake? No? Good. How bout this one? Put your hand in your cloak; now pull it out, impressive eh?"

"Aaaah! Nigga, what you done to my hand? Oh man!"

"Quit whining and put it in your cloak again; that's two, now for the finale! Drum rolls please.

Ladies and gentlemen, sons and daughters of Msiri and Israel, I give you the amazing Moses and his pitcher. Watch as he takes some water from the Nile and pours it on the ground. What do we have here? Some red stuff; is it wine? No! It is blood! My, what an amazing trick, this guy is surely the shit!

Okay, I guess that covers it, any questions?"

"Well, there's still that issue of my public speaking and I would rather ride into town in a flaming chariot...oh and also that hand thing, how bout we do something funky when I pull it out of my cloak, like a flaming sword or some shit? Diseased hand is a bit uncomfortable for me, you know how niggas roll, image is everything in this game."

"Oh man, how come I always land on the wimps? This didn't happen to Zeus. Alright, here's what we'll do, your brother Aaron knows how to spin that shit, you tell him what I tell you and you'll look like the dangerous nigga behind the scene. How's that? Kul? Alright, grab your goddamn stick and let's get this show on the road."

"Um, one last thing."

"Oh man, what now?"

"If you're the shit this side of the Sahara, who's the shit on the other side?"

"Okay, you're beginning to annoy me; nobody cares about the other side of the Sahara and if it ever comes up, we'll see how fix that. Now go, I need to go and find someone who can read this manual."

Skin

2010-04-13T04:27:00.001-07:00

"When I found out this love's undone
I was like a gun, sure as it was over
Felt like nothing good could come

Sure as it's gonna play and play
Like Michael back in the day
I'm gonna peel you away

Now as I begin to wash you off my skin
I'm gonna peel you away
'Cause you're not right within

I love you so
Sometimes love has to let go
So this time don't think it's a lie

I say goodbye"

There is still Love, child of Mars

2010-03-31T05:16:00.001-07:00

"I still have the bruises and all the cuts. It's what I show for all the years."

"Why did you call me?"

"I wanted to see you."

"Why? To whine about how life's been unfair to you?"

"Um, no. No. I just wanted, no, needed to see you."

"Why?"

"I miss you"

"You told me to leave, said I was no good for you, that I made you weak"

"I know. I want you back, and I'm sorry. I was in pain"

"Everyone feels pain, even me"

"I know, but this was different"

"You're not the first nor will you be the last, but it's always different"

"I don't care, it was me this time"

"You're strange"

"I get that a lot"

"You're not ready"

"What do you mean? I'm ready now! Please. Come back to me."

"The ides of March are come and gone
July bleeds into crimson rivers
Orpheus' song lingers even in stone
A tale once told to the weavers

Yours is an empty house
Big and empty. Empty heart
Go west or east, north or south
empty house, empty man

Listen, the child sings
Ave, ave, ave Maria
But she is gone, on angels' wings
In her father's house, singing "Doe a deer"

I held the book, at the turn of time
In my blood I wrote your name
Hear! The midnight bells chime
Away I must, for it's all a game

Laugh, sing, dance and cry
No longer Son and never Father, but name you must have
"Rae", the grass will grow and the birds will fly
The heart will call, and I will come"

She got up, graceful as a reed in a gentle breeze. Kissed me on the cheek and whispered,

"When you're ready, I will come to you"

I turned to look at her, one last time, but she was gone. I walked to the bar and paid my bill.

"You are a Mars child" Destiny asked or said, I couldn't quite tell the difference, there was always that about him.

"Mars, Athena, Aphrodite, Yahweh, the lot of them, I belong to all or most of them anyway"

"Hmmm, she sure likes the dreamers" He said to himself, mostly. He pulled out two small glasses from a wooden cabinet, the kind you filled with colourful liquids and then poured down your throat in one quick motion. One glass, one swing. He bent down and rummaged through the cabinet for what seemed like ages.

"Aaah, here we are. I've not had some of this in a million years." He said, straightening once again. He had that look; I could tell he really meant it, a million years. He produced a dusty, ancient looking bottle, much like a Babylonian clay jar but different, uncorked it, poured a honey coloured liquid into the glasses, and handed one to me. A strange aroma hit me, something like tears, the good kind, the kind that flow when you laugh so hard. Years too, it smelled of them, one piled upon the other until there were hundreds and thousands of millions of them.

"Everyone walks through the garden, even my sister. The end is the same but the path is yours to choose, sometimes."

I put the glass to my mouth, tilted my head back and poured.

The Girl in Red

2010-03-26T08:26:00.001-07:00

She smiles at me and asks for my name. Her eyes are alight with the promise of magic; taunting, teasing and tempting. Perhaps it's something ancient; something deep, down in the flesh, hidden, something draws me to her.

We dance; sometimes to the music, sometimes to the words, we dance to life. The minutes tumble and fall; the seconds fading fast as the year dwindles away. One number gone, another to take its place. We dance; in the moonlight and the flames, ever so close until I can feel her breath and taste her skin. Pushing gently against each other we whisper words, things long forgotten. "She is old; she was here long before you and I and will be long after we are gone. Enjoy her bounty; take what you will but always pay."

She tilts her head, looks at me, longingly. I kiss her, softly, slowly and then I feel it. The magic is old, old as the earth herself. There are memories here, those old and those not yet made. I fall, lost, nostalgic. I remember a million kisses and tears, a million lives.
She is gone now, on a grey steed, taken by the winds that blow. The sun will rise soon, washing away the night and everything in it. It will all fade, like mist in the wind I will be gone, a part of me, taken, forever.

Desdemona, "You are a child of the universe. You will be Love."

Homo Interneticus: Why the internet will change humanity as we know it

2010-03-24T15:39:00.001-07:00

Last Thursday, the BBC hosted a unique experiment called "Superpower Nation". The climax of a season of programming on "the internet", it was a 6hour event where people from all over the world connected on the internet and were encouraged to carry out discussions on any topic they desired. Of course it was a little bit more complicated than that but that was the gist of it. One of the aims of the experiment was to test the efficacy of a language translation engine; anyone could use whatever language they wanted and the engine would attempt to translate their sentiments.

The statistics speak for themselves but, like all statistics they don't quite reveal the human stories behind them. I took part in this experiment along with @CplLo and I was impressed by the simplicity of it; there I was, connected to all these people and we could discuss anything. The technology is not quite there yet but you get a sense of the general direction. In the not so distant future, any group of people will be able to hold a seamless, uninterrupted discussion/forum/class/rally in real-time complete with audio and video AND language will not be a barrier.

The experiment was carried out on several platforms including twitter, facebook, blogs and a video conferencing platform developed by Nefsis. I just had to try out the translation engine and since I could see it was doing a good job with the international languages, I fed it a few sentences of Rukiga. Naturally, it couldn't even spit back one word in English and so I let it be. Unbeknownst to me, a few seconds after my entry, @darlkomu read it and posted a translation for it and just like that, the engine had (of course with human intervention) translated a few sentences in an obscure African language that the wider world would never have understood. I think I should have said something poignant but all I said was "Ninkunda internet munonga ahabwokuba eine amagezi gabantu b'omunsi yoona" which loosely translated means "I love the internet because it has all the knowledge of all the people on earth". While this is not actually true, I think it's only a matter of time before the internet becomes what it truly should be, a marvel of the modern age, the sum of humanity's shared knowledge and creativity. It is at once the great library, bookstore, bank, supermarket, record store, cinema, boardroom, church, secret meeting place, etc. The road to this point is not quite clear; there are so many issues not least of which is the traditional view of copyrights, business and state secrets, privacy and libel legislation, etc.

As the internet becomes a permanent fixture in our everyday lives, those in authority will try to control its influence as perhaps is their obligation because any tool can be used to perpetrate injustices. In so called democracies where such fundamental human rights as the freedom of expression and by extension of the press are routinely abused under the pretext of national security, the battle lines are slowly being drawn. It will take an enormous amount of ingenuity, much like the stuff that created the internet, to open it up to the billions in the developing world that truly need it.

It is levelling the playing field in many an industry; where it was once a minor nuisance, it is now a threat to established business structures and models that not many people seem to have an answer to it. The recording industry was the first to fall prey to this technology, with the release of Napster (an audio file sharing tool) back in the 90s. The idea behind such software is simple, that if I have a music collection and you have a music collection, we can share our collections and together have access to more music. Innocent isn't it? Kind of like when you move in with a new roommate or better other. Yet that little software brought the entire recording industry to its knees and by the time Napster was shut down, the idea was already out there. Today, such tools abound on the internet and those of us who use them are labelled criminals and "pirates" but the truth of the matter is that not all of us can afford to own the entire discography of U2, Tracy Chapman and all our favourite musicians but we would like to be able to listen to it. Most of us are willing to contribute to the welfare of the people who provide such goods but at the current market prices, we can't quite afford to. The recording industry soon realized that it was impossible to win this war and that instead of fighting the technology, they had to use it to their benefit and so the internet became a new distribution channel and now a music album that would have cost me $30 will cost me about $12 or less, approximately $1 per track.

Interestingly, artists soon realized that this technology could be used as a promotional platform, instead of having to audition to god knows how many hundreds of record label executives; they made their music and put it out there for the world to hear. I imagine the idea was to get noticed and then use this as launch pad for a career in the recording industry. This was simply the market evolving from a closed business model to something more open and much fairer. In 2007, Radiohead's recording contract with EMI expired before the release of their 'In Rainbows' album, the band decided to release their album on the internet and invited fans to "pay what you wish" -- even nothing -- and a "digital tip jar" was set up to collect voluntary payments. "The Radiohead Experiment" as it would later come to be known elicited strong reactions from all sides. Today, what was once radical is now considered quaint with many emerging artists experimenting with different models.

However, the true power of the internet lies in the fact that it connects people. Ever since some guy decided to beat some drums to send a message to the next hill, and another one thought a few smoke rings would do the trick, humanity has always been looking for better ways to communicate and express itself. Enter the most open and ubiquitous technology yet. Today, you can have a real-time conversation with someone thousands of miles away at a reasonable cost. Halfway through the superpower event, a 70 year old Eritrean lady, who was at the event HQ in London, had a question for the participants in Uganda. "Why does your country impose sanctions on mine? Why do you make the people of Eretria suffer?" Carlo and I had no idea what she was talking about and while she (the old lady) poured her emotions, we did a quick Google search and discovered that Uganda, as part of the African Union had recommended to the UN that an arms embargo and other sanctions be brought against Eritrea because apparently the country (more precisely some guys in the country) supports the Islamic fundamentalists in Somalia. I wanted to tell that lady that just as she rightly thought that I should have an explanation for what my government did in my name, she too bore the same responsibility for hers.

For me, it's that simple, a global conversation, real people and real issues. It may seem fleeting, impermanent but in this day and age, much like at any other time in history I imagine, there are few things in which we can have steadfast belief. One of these is that humanity as a whole shall always attempt to move forward, to build better and more permanent bonds amongst its members.

SuperPower Nation

2010-03-18T04:30:00.000-07:00

So, the BBC is carrying out an experiment as part of their special season of programmes
on how the internet is changing the world.

According to their website,

http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/programmes/2010/03/100223_superpowernation.shtml

The internet brings millions of people together digitally every day, but one thing it
cannot do well - at least, not yet - is allow people who speak different languages to
understand each other easily.
BBC World Service wants to explore whether technology will be able to change this -
in a unique experiment using our language services and translation software - broadcast
live online from 1300GMT on 18 March 2010.
SuperPower Nation on the Web
As a part of SuperPower Nation Day, we are running an experiment using automatic
machine translation technology to see how the internet can break down language
barriers.
It’s your turn to talk. And we have no agenda - any topics or issues will be debated
and discussed.
What is unique about this is that you can talk to speakers of completely different
languages in your own voice. Speakers of click Arabic, click Chinese, click English,
click Persian, click Indonesian, click Portuguese and click Spanish will be able to talk
to each other using Google’s machine translation.
Your call

SuperPower Nation will be broadcast from 1300GMT on the click live event page and
BBC World television.

My OB from Kigezi College

2010-03-16T12:23:00.000-07:00

So, Jason Mraz keeps a blog. I've just perused it and it looks interesting. He sounds a bit of an oddball, talking all spiritual and karma stuff which I like most of the time but I am not in a mood for that now. Here's the link if you're interested. http://freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.com/

I met a guy in Kamwokya today, he looked about 26 or thereabouts. I was walking towards the market to find a place with good cheap food. I noticed him when he was about 30 meters from me, walking in the opposite direction. He had on a black and white checkered shirt, cream cargo pants that stopped just below the knees and sandals for footwear. We made eye contact, he stopped, I yanked the earphones from my ears and said "hi".

"Hello" he said
"Can I help you" I asked, turning slightly away to avoid the smell of alcohol.
"You look familiar, did we go to school together?"
"Um, which school would that be?"
"Weren't you in Kigezi College?"
"No, you must have me mistaken for somebody else"
"You look like someone I know called Ronald. Say, can you help me with 500/= for a taxi?"

I looked at him, he seemed in good shape apart from the alcohol breath. I wondered how he could expect me to give him some of my "whoring dividends" when he looked perfectly able to provide for himself.

"I'm sorry I can't" I said
"Well, I guess I'll just walk then"
"Yes, you should walk, it won't kill you that's for sure, give you some time to think as well."

I walked off wondering whether I should feel guilty that i hadn't helped him, it was in my power to do but I looked at him and judged him as unworthy of my kindness.

When does it become a burden? A kind heart, when is it that you give more than you should or is there such a point? When do you decide that you should be good to yourself, that you deserve to hold back a little?

I'm struggling with balance, I know I can't give everything away, that I must keep something for myself, even the emotional stuff. I hope soon I will strike a balance that allows me to feel a little less and do a little more.

The question of money or whoring 101

2010-02-27T03:40:00.001-08:00

Everyone's a whore. Yes, even you and before you run off proclaiming your morals to the world, hear me out.

Money makes the world go round, the more of it you have, the faster it goes. Take a trip to any classroom in this country and ask the kids what they want to be when they grow up, I assure you more than half will tell you they want to be "very" rich, as in they want to make so much money. I have been thinking about money a lot and what it means to human beings. Apparently the idea came about because barter trade was not quite sufficient for the exchange of goods and services. Some idiot decided one day that he wasn't going to till the land or rear animals; that instead he was going to collect a bunch of shells and use them to get what he wanted. It must have been hard convincing someone that a bunch of shells was worth anything back then. Anyway, this guy was eventually successful, I don't know how long it took but knowing ideas and how they spread, it might have happened centuries after he was long gone. Thanks to him, we have this grand idea of money that makes each and everyone on this sordid piece of rock a whore.

Nothing in life is free, nothing. Everything must be paid for in one way or the other, even respect, love and friendship have their currencies. John Donne once famously said "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent" and there is no one out there who can disagree. Every human being must justify their existence, most importantly to themselves and then to others. The bit about self is mostly easy depending on your mental state and capacity; the bit about others is a lot more difficult. Human interaction defines our existence and every human being must put forth a good case for others to interact with him or her. He or she must possess something that is considered valuable by others, something that makes their lives better or at the very least, different.

Every human being attempts to package themselves appropriately for the world. Those who can afford to, go to school and acquire skills that are meant to make them more valuable to the world without themselves. You are taught that if you do not acquire skills that are valuable to the world at large, you will spend your days destitute and live a meaningless life.

The world today is driven by the middle classes; an idea that is defined by their levels of education and income relative to that of others. The classic middle class worker is educated or trained to do certain things, to fit into the economic system that prevails as a factor of production and nothing more. You are told that somehow you are adding to the general well being of humanity, that the work which you do makes a difference for the better but the stark truth is that you're probably lining some guy's pockets with money while you barely have enough to survive let alone indulge in the things that make you feel alive. So everyone pretty much goes about their lives, hoping that somehow they have justified their existence, that one way or another they provide something to someone that makes all the hassle worth it.

The child knows that it must earn the respect of its family; you feel that you must earn the love and respect of your peers and the "elders" wish for nothing less than the respect of the younger generation, an acknowledgement that they have so far built a future that is worthy of it. So everyone goes around, whoring themselves to each other, saying "look at me, I have packaged myself thus, I have built this and if you wish to interact with this, then you must have something to give in return." We learn what we can and have the chance to; we try to use this knowledge to our advantage believing that we are somehow building something, adding to a greater whole or at least making people's lives easier. Beggars (merchants of karma), politicians (glorified conversationalists), soldiers, policemen, doctors, teachers, accountants, farmers, businessmen (middlemen), children, lovers, friends and family; each and every one of these considers themselves essential to someone or something else. From the clothes you wear, the things you say and do down to the very thoughts you formulate, it's all a process of selling yourself for a little bit of meaning in this madness we call life.

So good luck to you, may your wares have many a buyer and may you never be cheated out of what is rightfully yours, your life as you wish to live it.

Never Saw You Coming

2010-02-26T04:19:00.000-08:00

I am the lonely
The ones who slip away
I am the secret
The words we dare say
I am the promise I'm about to break...again

I am the leader
Who cannot find the way
I am the preacher
Who somehow lost the faith
I am the beggar reaching out my hands...again

And I never saw you coming
I could never dream of running
I have never known such love before
My God, you come, come and breathe your breath in me
Steal away what's left of me
Til you are mine and I am yours

I am the lover with no one to hold
I am the seeker with an empty soul
I'm everyone who's ever lost hope

And I never saw you coming
I could never dream of running
I have never known such love before
My God, you come, come and breathe your breath in me
Steal away what's left of me
Til you are mine and I am yours

Fall like stars on my shore
Still you are so much more

And I never saw you coming
I could never dream of running
I have never known such love before
My God, you come, come and breathe your breath in me
Steal away what's left of me
Til you are mine and I am yours
.................................................Bebo Norman

Video On YouTube

Neil Gaiman Says

2010-02-23T03:35:00.000-08:00

".....it occurs to me that the peculiarity of most things we think of as fragile is how tough they truly are. There were tricks we did with eggs, as children, to show how they were, in reality, tiny load-bearing marble halls; while the beat of the wings of a butterfly in the right place, we are told, can create a hurricane across an ocean. Hearts may break, but hearts are the toughest of muscles, able to pump for a lifetime, seventy times a minute, and scarcely falter along the way. Even dreams, the most delicate and intangible of things, can prove remarkably difficult to kill.
Stories, like people and butterflies and songbirds’ eggs and human hearts and dreams, are also fragile things, made up of nothing stronger or more lasting than twenty-six letters and a handful of punctuation marks. Or they are words on the air, composed of sounds and ideas—abstract, invisible, gone once they’ve been spoken—and what could be more frail than that? But some stories, small, simple ones about setting out on adventures or people doing wonders, tales of miracles and monsters, have outlasted all the people who told them, and some of them have outlasted the lands in which they were created."

Breaking down and cleaning up....

2010-02-17T05:53:00.000-08:00

"Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?"

There is something wrong with me. While I hold an almost fanatical degree of optimism for everyone and everything else, when it comes to me, I don't have much hope. I have developed a mentality that somehow sets me apart from everything I do. I believe that nothing physical can or should be able to negatively influence what I consider to be my "self". I have tried to rise above the material, to transcend my base human nature but I'm not sure I'm getting anywhere. I will keep trying though.

One of the things about wanting to die is that you don't care about your body that much, actually, you pretty much don't care about anything. I wanted to quit smoking and reduce my alcohol intake early last year and then I didn't care about it anymore so I have been mistreating my body. Every time I saw someone living on the streets, I marveled at how their bodies were still able to survive that much exposure to the elements, while someone in "perfect health" could waste away in a matter of days. Perhaps for a while now, I have been trying to do myself in, but I think I am done with that feeling. I want to live on, at least for a little while longer.

I have somehow turned into more of a recluse than otherwise. I am tired of pity, misunderstanding and being taken for granted. I have never been one to withhold myself from anyone if I can help it but what happens when those you trust will come to your aid in times of need fail to do so? What do you do with that bitterness or the realisation that the fault is much more yours than theirs?

Some guy out there came up with the idea that there are 5 stages of grief, I would beg to disagree, I don't think there's a formula for this crap. I can say that I've been to number 5 and then some other strange numbers but I am still not at peace. I am still puzzled as to why with so many people in the world, someone can still feel completely alone.

My body is broken and I must fix it. It is a simple, ordinary and mundane thing but for me it is something more. It is the beginning of an attempt to rediscover the desire to be among the living. I want to be one of you, for better, only for better, I hope it is worth it.

Live Writing

2010-02-09T08:53:00.000-08:00

I need a modem, or a phone that lets me blog from it. I want to be able to blog on the fly, something I like to call "live writing". I want to be able to write and post without reviewing anything. I got a book on writing sometime last year and it says that "writing is rewriting". It's true but I am fed up. I just want to get stuff out of my head or I'll go nuts, if I'm not there yet.

I find myself too dramatic these days, I can't even take a dump without the fate of the universe being in the balance, which reminds me, never interrupt a man when he's in the loos, it's one of the most peaceful moments in his life, at least for me. Anyway, I think I have too much drama which means I've been a bit selfish and thought of myself only but I don't want to change, not entirely.

I'm on starve meanwhile. I don't know what's wrong with me but I can't seem to find someone who gets my blood running, at least someone appropriate i.e. emotionally independent, funny, available, up for anything, no strings attached etc. It's a bit silly really because I like to be emotionally connected to someone before I do anything, the trick is that I do it easily while the other person normally gets to that point when I'm walking out the door and then I become the jerk, but I am used to it. I will go a hunting soon.

I hope you're all ok, especially you, yes, YOU.

See u later.

Being Me

2010-01-18T01:31:00.001-08:00

There is nothing now; what was I cannot tell, what will be is written in the shifting sands of time, in smiles and tears. I was him once, him that was named Haani by the desert. I am less now, a little less and a little more. I am the piety of the child, the wisdom of the sage, the character of the peasant. I am the infinite mystery that stretches beyond the sky, shifting in patterns unknown. I am everything yet I am nothing. I am the wind; gentle and comforting yet full of eternal rage. I am the fire, destroyer of all, purifier of none. I am emptiness, vast and unending. I was you, once, in the days of old. In the land of whispering streams, we were one. I am broken; lying in pieces without number, stretched beyond the vast emptiness. I will be you again, in the infinite moment, between one breath and the next. I will find the way, to "Worlds' End" I will stray beyond once. I will be me, again.

Ghost in the Machine

2010-01-15T09:10:00.001-08:00

@#@$@*&$@*$&*@$@*$@*($*@*#%*#)()%*@#_*%#)@)*_#)%*)@#%@#**#@*%*@#___%*#_@*(@#*)@#&*)@#*@#&%()@#&)@#()(@#)&%#@&(%&()&)#(@%&()%

That's the message I get from MTN every now and then after I've made a call or sent an SMS. Here's the funny thing, no one at MTN knows what it is or what causes it, and that's the thing about technology, it always does things you don't expect it to. MTN will obviously tell me that it's nothing but a glitch in the system and that it shouldn't affect my ability to use their services but I have to ask, what the hell is it? I once received a flurry of cash back messages from them and no cash! Ever since, I haven't received any cash back. Okay, they don't owe me that much or maybe I just haven't loaded enough airtime but I feel a bit hard done by. After several years as market leaders, I think they've lost their edge, they don't seem to care about what the customer needs. I imagine they've been going through some tough shit with the recession and all but what makes them think I haven't been going through the same?

MTN's gotten expensive or I have gotten poorer or both, either way I don't think I can afford to use their services exclusively so I am moving to other networks. WARID seems good; their ghost gives me credit when someone calls me from another network not to mention those free calls. I hope they can maintain that, I will support them in this endeavour. UTL has one of the most annoying customer care operations. These guys think you're daft, that saying sorry all the time will fix their problems and they forget that some of us know a little bit about this stuff. I haven't tried ORANGE yet but their data service seems to be the best available on the market; however, they run the risk of lacking enough capacity to support the service in case the market decides to adopt it full scale (much like the UTL and MTN GPRS bundles). I could do with an unlimited internet package because I like downloading a lot of stuff, the idea of being limited to a few GB is ridiculous.

2009

2009-12-23T07:24:00.001-08:00

Where to begin. The year started off with the usual occurrences; New Year hangovers, resolutions, more hangovers, broken resolutions, big plans, little plans and a jug full of optimism. This was 1^st and 2^nd January.

3^rd January was one of my best friends' wedding and he was getting married to my sister. It was a day for celebrating life and the union of two souls. I bought the only suit I have ever owned and looked the sharpest I possibly could. It was a good day. All my friends were in attendance, we got drunk and got up to all sorts of things. It was one of those nights that will always be memorable.

Two weeks later, the once happily married couple was separated. My dear sister had after all rushed into this without knowing exactly what she wanted and now the enormity of it all had sunk in. She was scared and wanted out, she told my dear friend as much and their lives fell apart. The storm clouds were just gathering.

Two and half weeks later, Brenda lay in the hospital dying. I watched helplessly as things went from bad to worse. Sarah called me one rainy morning in February to tell me Brenda had passed on. My world crumbled. I retreated into my head and have been there since.

I had come to hinge my life on her, whether she knew it or not, that I couldn't make sense of it anymore. I wanted to die and perhaps if I was less of a coward I would have slit my damn wrists. As it was I opted to run to far off lands, to spend the rest of my years seeing the world and giving back all that I could. This was April; I had spent the months before my departure dazed, saying my farewells, attempting to leave with as clean a slate as possible. I tried to tell my friends that there was nothing more important than the bonds between us; I hope I got through to them.

Two weeks later, on the other side of the world, I lay dying, afflicted by an exotic malady aptly named "break bone fever". Much to my dismay, I survived it with the handsome reward of destitution. I made my way back here with one goal in mind, to find my way back across the seas in a few months and to start a foundation while I was here.

On returning, I tried to figure out what kind of life I could hope to lead here. I set my mind to understanding life as humanity has known it and what I learned was depressing. Human beings suck! Yes, you suck! Life is so hard on its own but somehow we're not content with that, no sir, we must always find a way of making it harder for each other. We have persecuted each other since the dawn of time for being different. There are those among us who would have everything and not care if the rest had nothing. There are those who would kill others for the sake of material things. Others still will kill for their religion, apparently on the instruction of an unseen deity for the promise of a piece of heaven. I am taught to believe that all men are inherently evil and wish me harm, that no one does a good deed because it is simply right but because material benefits will accrue to them as a result. The world is such that without money, my life is worthless and my voice does not matter.

Anyway, as things were attempting to get back to normal, with new goals set and a new desire to enjoy life and do something meaningful creeping up on me, Eirene ups and leaves us, after only a month and twenty days here. A true visitor if ever there was any. I asked myself what possible meaning to take from that; the comfort that she did not get to see how ugly this world can be? The idea that she is an angel (whatever that may be) somewhere up there? I wondered what I could possibly tell the heartbroken parents to make anything better and I had no answers. I still don't. If I have learnt anything this year it is that "Life is suffering".

I have had no desire to work at all this year. I can't see what good it does, mankind is still headed in the wrong direction and I don't think anyone is ready to give me the reins. Many a time, I have not cared whether I went hungry or not, there doesn't seem to be much to live for. The conventional things to aspire to don't hold appeal for me anymore, I have no desire to etch my name on any piece of rock and call it mine for I know the truth is that it will never be mine. I am a visitor here; this strange blue green orb is not my home. I belong somewhere out there in the vastness of the universe, I simply keep this place for those that come after and my only duty is to make sure I pass on a world that will be better for posterity than it has been for me.

The months have blended into each other, helped by a steady dose of alcohol, tobacco and other herbs but I still feel hopeless and helpless. I have finally hit my low point, I knew it was always coming but depression has never been this bad. I need to get away from here. The world makes me sad, this place, doubly so.

But, here's the irony. This has undoubtedly been the worst year of my life yet, but it has also been the best. I like to get to the heart of things; if I have a problem, I like to deconstruct it down to the base elements and find a solution from the ground up. I fell in love with a girl and life denied me any chance of experiencing what could have been and I would have taken my life had it not been for the fear that wherever she is, she would hate me for that. Maybe I will overcome that fear, I don't know. All I know is that from that first moment I heard the news, I wanted to let go of this life and I decided that I would simply expend it doing some good. I decided that even if I never achieve all these lofty heights that we all aspire to, I will simply do the best I can. I have come to have an understanding of life and what it truly is all about that makes me yearn for nothing less than peace. I want to live in peace with my fellow man, I want to sit by the fire, drink and get caught up in the wonder of being alive.

I like to think that I am blessed with a modicum of intelligence; I have always been one to incessantly ask why until the would-be teacher admits the limit of their knowledge. I am humble enough to know that what I believe is not necessarily what the rest should believe and that I cannot hope to know everything, but as human beings, we gravitate towards the company of those who share most of our views. I have been fortunate to meet a whole bunch of you. I will take from this year among the many lessons I have learned, the knowledge that there's a good bunch of people out there. Having never really felt a fundamental part of any family, I believe that my friends are as much my family as anyone else, perhaps it is a display of naiveté but I frankly couldn't care less. So I would like to say, it's been one hell of a year but thanks to all you guys for pulling through and for dragging me along with you. To all those who got hitched, mazel tov, those who got unhitched, well congs to you too, those planning to get hitched, all the best.

The Nook Club, The PIFF, Coffee Korner Phnom Penh, my classmates in Cambodia, the lovely Lisa Fields, Rama (who got me started thinking about the piff), The MerminBunnells, Bloggers (you're all mostly mad but you rock!), Couchsurfers, Javas Classic crew, Bubbles, The Workzine, Maria, Sarah, Penny, Trish, Pat, Stella, Scharlyne, Phillis White, Dincy, Beqy, Jaq, Brenda, Fez, Darlyne, Baz, Joanna, Fifi, Dimples, Rosette, David and Niki, Angie, Suze Peru, Rob Percival, Becca Schwartz, the bajaj guy who sped off with my 5k the other day, the chick in Bangkok who conned me of a pizza promising me kb and all those who have bought me a meal and a drink here and there, thank you all. I could list all y'all but we would be here til the second coming so I'm just going to wish you a very merry Christmas and happy new year. May you find the child in you that makes the holidays magical. See you on the flip side and just so you know, "I aint dead, I aint done"

Mega BHH

2009-12-15T02:55:00.000-08:00

So, the party is on! @solomonking has all the details and I'm going to camp at his office, which by the way (Streetsider and Sleek) is above Banana Boat and not some alternate dimesnion between the ATM machines and FatBoys, until I get them.

See you guys there.

L'esprit de Becca: "Stories about life, no matter where it takes me."

2009-12-04T04:59:00.000-08:00

A fellow couchsurfer's blog. Highly recommend.
http://www.lespritdebecca.blogspot.com/

The Festival of Dangerous Ideas

2009-11-18T06:40:00.001-08:00

Remember those so called "bimezas" and "kabazos" that the government in its infinite wisdom banned? Well, some guys in Australia got together and organized one of those things, a public debate on some of the prevailing notions and beliefs around the world today. Hosted by the Sidney Opera House in the first week of October 2009 and dubbed "The Festival of Dangerous Ideas" it featured such topics as "Democracy is Not for Everyone" and "Religion Poisons Everything" among several others.

The festival's opening address was given by atheism advocate Christopher Hitchens on the topic of "Religion Poisons Everything", which was countered by Australian Roman Catholic Cardinal George Pell in a session titled "Without God We Are Nothing". The Crikey, the erstwhile controversial Australian electronic magazine, summed up the event in these words: "For the Darlinghurst secular-liberals most of these ideas were either safe, or so ridiculous as to be of no interest. Really dangerous ideas — ones that people might act on — didn't get a look in."

I don't know about the guys at The Crikey, but I watched the debate on "Democracy is Not for Everyone" and I was impressed with the arguments for and against the motion. It was filled with intellect, wit and more importantly a realism contributed by the speakers' honesty, analysis and experience. I would so much as go ahead to encourage everyone to watch these debates but I am afraid they can be classified as the stuff of intellectuals. Apparently that stuff is boring to most people, a notion I find silly because anyone who has the inclination and capacity for reason is an intellectual. I personally believe the average farmer is more of an intellectual than the average acolyte of the revered "corporation".

I find myself playing around with these dangerous ideas, I ask myself what is the true essence of "Life"? What truly is "Liberty" and how can I engage in "the pursuit of happiness"? I am delving into ideas that are merely given lip service these days so as to lend credence to mercantile misadventures.

A member of the audience remarked that it was high time humanity got back to the business of thinking and extending mental boundaries. It has become apparent that these ideas that we praise without reservation, ideas like "Capitalism", need to be revisited and fine tuned to fit the needs of all society and not just a select few. Perhaps the greatest coup d'état of our time has been the one on Liberty by the unrelenting greed that drives mercantilism. I personally believe we need to revisit the entire idea of capital as a factor of production and figure out a way of a giving it a social dimension from the ground up and not the half hearted handout that "corporate social responsibility" is. Don't get me wrong and assume that I'm advocating for a radical shift to "Socialism" or some other form of government; all I'm saying is that we would be better served by a combination of different ideologies than just one. The idea that to have a meaningful life, one must engage in the unending pursuit of "money", something that is by definition meant to be scarce, is fallacious at the least. It simply cannot be true because to say so would mean that more than half the world's population, including myself, lives a meaningless existence and will be doing so for a long time to come unless we do something about it.

I wish to teach my generation that as long as we dream and use our imaginations, we can achieve anything. The simple truth written in all these self help books is that we are what we think we are and all that's left for us to change is our thoughts and opinions.

The PIFF Speech That Never Was

2009-11-12T04:25:00.001-08:00

Apparently I was supposed to make some sort of speech last Saturday; thankfully I managed to dodge it. I like to think that I know myself very well and I know that if I desired to master the art of public speaking I would do so. However, I know the kind of power and influence that comes with it and I do not wish to have it. The very thought of having people hanging onto my every word scares me. I believe that everyone should be able to think for themselves but for those of you who still have questions about the Pay It Forward Foundation Uganda and would like to hear all about it from the horse's mouth, well, here goes this horse.

First off, let me thank all of you who made The Masquerade Party what it was, it was great having you there! Thank you for all your support and enthusiasm.

The PIFF is above all else an idea, perhaps we're just idealists but we truly believe that the world can be a better place if we all just cared about each other a little bit more. Personally, the idea is premised on the kindness I have experienced in my life, without it, I would not be here today and I am very aware of that fact. The world today is set up as a ruthless jungle where the meek, poor, helpless, unfortunate and many others are trampled upon and considered nothing more than units of production. Somehow as a species, we seem to have lost that very thing that defines us, our humanity. The PIFF seeks to change this attitude by encouraging you to believe with us that being kinder to whoever you come into contact with can make the world a better place.

While I may have issues with the way the world is set up, I realise that we have to conform to certain standards if we are going to be able to do our work, however in all that we do, we aim to uphold the values of Kindness, Integrity, Forgiveness, Respect, Trust and Unity. We seek to dispel the belief in the outside world that we cannot help ourselves and must always depend on foreign nations to offer assistance and even manpower. I look at my generation and I see that there is potential to build a nation and a world that is truly better for all of us. We only lack the belief.

The PIFF aims to be a social network or movement or whatever you wish to call it that brings together people from all walks of life and gets them thinking about becoming better individuals who will build a better world by tackling today's social issues together. The role of building civilizations is not the sole domain of political organisations as we have come to realise but rather it is the duty of every man and woman.

We hope that many of you are asking yourselves how to become a part of the PIFF and to answer your question; you just have to believe that a kinder and better world is possible and that it begins with you. Many people have stood up throughout history and said as much, some have said that "you must be the change you want to see", that if you wish to build a better world; you should start with the "man in the mirror". We beseech you to make a conscious choice, "to live from the inside out rather than from the outside in."

So we're going to crunch the numbers, draw up the plans and then get back to you on how you can help us help others. Yes, we want your money, at least a little bit of it.

A Song for Keira

2009-11-04T00:07:00.001-08:00

Here we stand by the fireside singing songs
Singing about tomorrow and the day that's gone
Thinking of the roads and tunnels long
We'll wander east and west 'til we get home.

The clouds are gathered, winds blowing,
Together huddled for the storm is coming
Pain pulls to the edge of night, falling
Searing and burning bright, we lie groaning.

Across the plains and up the mountains
With nature's towers and flowing fountains
We lay to rest your earthly form
A month and twenty days, your home.

Goodbye goodbye Goddess of peace,
Heart of innocence without sin
Your life with us a pleasant dream
One of us, forever we sing.

This world will not break our heavy hearts
For your laughter we have known, pure and light
Perfect forever you remain, peace to you we pray
One of us, forever we sing,
One of us, forever in our hearts.

Disestablishmentarianism: The New World Order

2009-11-02T03:24:00.001-08:00

The world is changing. The financial meltdown brought to light a simple fact about the system of capitalism; that it is not without flaws. Excessive greed was at the heart of the crisis with the world's biggest financial institutions trading assets to the tune of several hundred billion dollars. When the housing bubble bust and these assets quickly turned toxic, these giants of capitalism, a system that dislikes government, found themselves having the "government of the people" as their lender of last resort. Some argued that these so called giants should be left to the fate of demand and supply but their voices fell on deaf ears. The impact, of the demise of Lehman Brothers at the hands of market forces on the global economy, forced governments all over the world to institute bailouts for their financial institutions. The BBC in its series, "Lehman Brothers: The Bank That Broke The World", reports that every tax payer in the developed world forked out £2000 to bail out the world's largest banking institutions. As the world struggles to recover from the recession, governments and businesses are trying to figure out how to prevent another such disaster. Questions like, "Why didn't we see it coming? How did it happen so fast? Who is responsible? How do we make sure it doesn't happen again?" have been on policy makers minds for much of the last 12 months and perhaps many more to come. The fact is simple, we need new thinking, and the mantra coined on Wall Street that "greed is good" has been shattered.

The world is changing. The issue of global warming can no longer be thought of as a fringe idea. The evidence is all around us. The ice caps are melting faster than before, the air is stale and full of gunk and the world's forests are disappearing faster than ever before. The results of our belief that it is our mission to go forth and multiply are only too evident now. The world's population stands at more than 6 billion people and according to number crunchers, that number will hit 9 billion by 2025. The current view is that we will need approximately one and a half earths to sustain such a population. We have been here before, some centuries ago a man of the cloth came to the conclusion that unless something was done, the population growth rate was going to quickly outstrip the food supply. His name was Malthus and his theory is still taught in classrooms today. We were saved by the agricultural revolution. Man set his mid to figuring out a way to sustain the world and was successful. Today the future seems bleak; a vast number of people are faced with starvation, the relentless march of industrialisation and all the ills that go with it threatens to engulf the world. At the current rate, The Federated States of Micronesia will be no more in about 20 years, Thailand will cease to exist by the turn of the century and much of Uganda perhaps will be nothing more than desert. The rapid change in the global climate and the threat it poses for many communities around the world will lead to social and political upheaval in many parts of the world. The fight for scarce resources will only intensify and the idea of a climate induced apocalypse is no longer the sole domain of Hollywood and science fiction writers. The way forward is not quite clear but it is evident that we cannot go about our lives as if it were business as usual, something must change. High on the agenda is discovering an energy source that is clean, cheap and abundant. I wish that one of my own could come up with this but instead it seems we might yet have to fight over the "black gold".

Something is happening in the Middle East. There is an organisation of the United Nations called the UNRWA (United Nations Relief Works Agency). It was formed sixty years ago to deal with the issue of Palestinian refugees. It is, according to the United Nations resolution that formed it, a temporary organisation. I imagine the idea was that the issues between Israel and Palestine would be sorted out quickly enough to allow peace to reign between the Jews and the Arabs; however it seems I am not the only one cursed with the disease of procrastination. The politicians tasked with solving the crisis have all pretty much given up on it and the consensus around the world is that there can be no peace in the Middle East. However the world has sat back long enough, the idea that one state can act unilaterally with impunity is distasteful to say the least. The Goldstone Report which has caused major political fallout is the beginning of a new trend and we cannot take the Israel's self serving propaganda at face value anymore. The idea that such a thing as the Dahiya doctrine is justifiable borders on the lunacy that led to WWII, the same lunacy that has been the oil feeding the fires of persecution throughout human history. Its results as evidenced by Israel's war on Gaza are nothing short of crimes against humanity. The greatest shame in all this lies on the Palestinian people for in the midst of persecution, they are divided. They fail to realise that if they presented a united stand to the world, they would go a long way in the fight for freedom. As for the so called people of the free world, it is nothing short of inhuman to witness such events and idly stand by claiming that it is not your duty to help. Those who purport the desire to do so clearly attempt to serve two masters, justice must supersede the interests of any state if the world is to live in peace. The time will come when Israel will attempt to cross the "Red Line" that is drawn by the Arab world at Al Aqsa mosque and may God be with us all on that day because it will no longer be as simple as matters that don't concern you or me, it will be a matter of religion for more than one third of the world's population and the idea of a holy crusade will not seem so alien to many people all over the world. As I write this, it has become evident that Obama has failed to get the Israeli government to cease settlement expansion, something that is in violation of previous agreements conjured up over the years in an attempt to make peace in the holy land. He finds himself losing credibility among the Arab nations as an impartial player which simply means that all those inspiring words he spoke in Cairo not to mention that Nobel prize have all been for naught. Yet, there is hope, even if it is the simple fact that I am now aware of these things and that I will never stop fighting for the rights of all who are oppressed. I add my humanity, whatever impact it may have, to the cause of freedom for all the oppressed, from the children of my country, to the Rohinya of Myanmar and to the people of Palestine. I wish to say that I stand with them in their struggle and I have hope.

I realise that I could go on and on about how the world is changing and how it affects you as a member of the human race but I believe that each one of us must make up their own minds as to where they wish to go and what they desire to do. I offer only one simple piece of advice, seek ye first knowledge and then pray for wisdom to choose the right path. We who are alive today are at the cusp of a new age in human history; it is the age of awareness. At no other point in history has mankind had access to information like we do today, we have the ability to hold a meaningful conversation with a stranger thousands of miles away at the click of a button and it would be silly of us not take advantage of this and build a better world. The idea that there is an institution in this world that cannot be changed or torn down is rooted in nothing more that people's acceptance of the status quo. As long as citizens all over the world believe that they do not have the power to change their lot in life, those who control and govern us will always do what they please at our expense.

For my part, I desire nothing less than peace on earth. I worship at the altar of Eirene and I will never stop seeking peace and happiness. This desire threatens to send me to the remotest corners of the earth, to sit in ancient temples and seek a path to enlightenment. Those of you who wish me to stay a little longer; I ask that you show the world that little bit of humanity. I ask that you come join us as we attempt to make the world just a little bit kinder and better.

PS: The Pay It Forward Foundation Uganda will be having a launch party this Saturday 07^th November 2009 at Bricks Bar and Restaurant in Centenary Park at 4pm. All are welcome, especially you. If you would like to support the foundation, you can do so by buying a ticket or a tee shirt. See you all there.

Of this and that and the other

2009-10-20T11:42:00.000-07:00

I've not been here in ages, sorry but life sort of caught up with me and I just managed to wriggle out of it's grasp for these few minutes to tell you what's up. I've been doing a lot of writing, unfortunately most of it's been done in my head. I can't seem to stop thinking about things, which reminds of a Robbie Williams song with the line "contemplating thinking about thinking". Yup, I've been doing that. I've been thinking about the Goldstone report and I will be telling you what I think about it soon. I Was watching Faultlines on Al Jazeera the other day and they had a special on Honduras, it's amazing how much injustice goes on out there and yet the powers that be stand by and watch.

The Listening post is doing a feature on Obama's Nobel and how it was reported in the media, what do you guys think about it? Afghanistan is in trouble, they have to organise a run off election before winter sets in, I wish them the best. Karzai attempted to pull a fast one even with all the world's cameras pointed at him and he nearly got away with it.Pakistan on the other hand is in danger of devolving, can you believe the chaps have nuclear weapons? The whole world seems to be comfortable with the idea of wiping out the Al Qaeda and make theTaliban powerless but I'm not sure it's going to be accomplished.

Back home, I've heard things about a homosexuality bill that makes us look like barbarians and apparently no leader on the continent deserves the Mo Ibrahim Foundation Prize.

Will fill you in tomorrow on other happenings. Later peeps

Workzine Issue 6

2009-10-13T09:24:00.001-07:00

I had to write the editor's word for the latest issue of the workzine and I found myself doing several versions. I feel that they're engaging but then again I know people don't like reading such stuff so I just thought I would throw this one here since I have license to torment you with my meandering mind.

We're back again! It seems way too soon but as the old adage goes, time flies... I have just come to a certain realisation; the world is run by the middle and lower classes. Forget the idea that the ruling elite call all the shots, if the middle and lower classes all over the world woke up one morning and decided to sit down until say for example they received higher wages, the world would come to a standstill. I realise too that I am not the first to see this; all those who have led civil society movements in the past have instinctively known this. Ghandi, MLK, Su Kyi and all the others have embraced this knowledge. This knowledge however is beginning to make its way into our daily lives; perhaps the time will come when it becomes a natural part of us, the idea that each and every one of us matters will be held above many others. A certain lady, Elinor Ostrom, has just won the Nobel Memorial Prize for economics; she shares it with an Oliver E. Williamson but it is the first time a woman has won this prize since it was awarded forty years ago. She accepted the accolade with humility saying that while it was good to win the damn thing, she knew she was only the beginning. Perhaps one of you will aspire to this award.

Interestingly their work (done separately) challenges traditional beliefs regarding resource management, conflict resolution and the theory of firms and markets. It is a load of boring stuff for those not interested in the business of economics which leads me to something that's been bothering me for a while. How do you manage to keep your world small? How do you not give a damn about what happens elsewhere in the world? At the end of the day everything is tied together, you might think such things shouldn't matter to you but any analysis of world events and history will show you that everything's connected. I have become obsessed with the world and I fear that I might burn out or end up sad, bitter and lonely but I know that I will never stop wanting to know more. The beeb's motto is "Never Stop Asking" and I guess I will always be doing it till I drop dead.

Faith, Hope and Charity or Pay It Forward: The Elevator Pitch

2009-10-06T05:51:00.001-07:00

Abid was introducing the idea of the Workzine to bloggers last BHH and he was asked for an elevator pitch of the entire concept. An elevator pitch? I asked myself, then it dawned on me that it simply meant that you had to sum up the idea in the time it takes to ride an elevator to say 11^th floor of Worker's house. If you can't pull it off then, you might as well proceed to the roof and take a dive. So I thought I would give it a shot and introduce The Pay It Forward Foundation Uganda before we get to the 10^th floor.

Then I got thinking: Since when did our culture evolve to this point, when all the time another person has for your thoughts is an elevator ride? Obviously I wandered into debate concerning capitalism and socialism and many other places. I realised that I could not do it, I'm too wordy to sum up an entire concept thus. So I debated on how to introduce our idea of The Foundation and I came across a simple truth. I have the ability to take that which I wish from any religion in the world. So I decided to sample these religions and introduce this concept to you. I choose to go with a Judeo-Christian theme, complemented by the religion of submission, Islam and what I consider the true religion of Peace, Buddhism. My choices are simply because I have intimate knowledge of Christianity and I have chosen to discover these others. I have come to preach people, stop the elevator!

Romans 13:8-10 (Duties towards One Another)

Be under obligation to no one – the only obligation you have is to love one another. Whoever does this has obeyed the Law. The commandments "Do not commit adultery; do not commit murder; do not steal; do not desire what belongs to someone else"-all these and any others besides, are summed up in the one command, "Love your neighbour as you love yourself." If you love someone, you will never do them wrong; to love, then, is to obey the whole Law.

This is perhaps one of the most important messages in the bible. Paul, in his letter to the Christians in Rome, explains his understanding of Christ's message. I have read the bible and even though it is full of hatred, anger, death and destruction, it still contains a message of peace. Jesus may have proclaimed that there was no other path to paradise than through him and however much I may disagree with that I cannot fault his teachings on peace, love and kindness. In today's world, there are many who profess a belief in these teachings but act otherwise. I do not have the moral authority to condemn anyone for I too have sinned, but I have a belief that if you hold these words to be the living word of God, then you must follow them with all your heart. The call truly is simple; it is not beyond anyone's means or ability. You cannot say I am not rich enough or I do not have enough because all you're asked to do is to love your neighbour as yourself. It is a simple call to love one another genuinely, one that has been interpreted in many ways with life's hardships forcing us to ask who our neighbours truly are. Some have interpreted it to mean that a neighbour is one who shares your belief and helps you when in need and all others do not qualify but life in its randomness will provide for you no matter your beliefs for the tree gives of its fruit to all men alike. God, in his infinite mercy did not judge you unworthy of his blessings and sent you his only son. It is perhaps only right that we live our lives by Christ's example and message.

The Quran S. 2:62 Al Hilali & Khan

Verily those who believe and those who are Jews and Christians and Sabians, whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day and do righteous good deeds shall have their reward with their Lord, on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.

Paramount to all religions is the message of faith. That you must first and foremost believe. The religion of submission to God's will, Islam has one fundamental difference from Christianity. While the latter requires only belief in Jesus Christ (and perhaps by extension his teachings) as the son of God to enter paradise, Islam requires in addition to belief in Allah, a belief in the Last Day of judgement and acts of righteous good deeds. I am not yet well versed with the Quran but I know that among Islam's five pillars is Zakat, the charitable giving that all able Muslims are called upon to perform. In Islam, every act of kindness performed is an affirmation of faith and brings you that much closer to paradise. It is the sacred duty of every Muslim and perhaps non Muslim to help those who are in need. Sura 99 states:

In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

When the earth is shaken with its (final) earthquake.
And when the earth throws out its burdens,
And man will say: "What is the matter with it?"
That day it will declare its information (about all what happened over it of good and evil).
Because your Lord has inspired it.
That Day mankind will proceed in scattered groups that they may be shown their deeds.
So whosoever does good equal to the weight of an atom (or a small ant), shall see it.
And whosoever does evil equal to the weight on an atom (or a small ant) shall see it.

The Teachings of The Buddha

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness. – Dalai Lama

Buddhism is not a religion per se but it can be interpreted as such. It is in my opinion the true religion of peace. At its core is the simple message that life in all its beauty, wonder and splendour is suffering. There is so much of it that nature will dish out of its own volition that we should hold all life, especially human, as sacred. We are simply called upon to try to the best of our ability to make it better for all others, and if we fail to do so, we should at least "Do No Harm", an oath that we require our physicians to take before practising. Buddhism holds the values of kindness and compassion above all others in this life. Belief in a deity does not matter, what matters most is that you are truly kind and compassionate.

The Torah

The beginning and end of Torah is performing acts of loving kindness. – The Talmud

Everything Else

Even if we profess a different faith other than the above or none at all, there are a few simple truths that life teaches us. The most important of these has been learned over millennia. Our ancestors knew it from the very beginning, from the moment the first of us became aware, it was obvious that life's journey could not be undertaken alone. We knew from the very beginning that "people need people". So we learned to live together in communities and have evolved thus far. Sometimes, actually most times it seems that we have lost something essential to our nature because we have managed to make the world seem like a very mean place when that shouldn't be the case. Those of us who believe that human beings are inherently wicked and selfish are sorely mistaken. The idea that it is a "dog eat dog" world serves nothing less than to doubt the true nature of God and God's promises to us, for we are made in his image, our bodies are his temple and should be treated as such.

So, with the above in mind, at least for some of us, we have ganged up together to start "The Pay It Forward Foundation Uganda". We seek to make the world a kinder place and believe that such a dream starts with us. We hope that you will join us or at the very least be a little kinder to those whose lives you touch every day.

Let me conclude this sermon with some of my favourite bits of the bible, the teachings about love as written in Paul's first letter to the Corinthians.

Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail.

You may now restart the elevator, I am done preaching. May peace and the love of God, the all Merciful, be with you all.

Keira Phoebe Eirênê Wanyenze Kanyana Nagimesi

2009-10-05T07:41:00.001-07:00

So I went to visit the Nagimesi family the other day and I am happy to report that both mother and child are doing well. She has been named: Keira because it's a cool name and that Knightly chick is hot! Phoebe after her grandmother (funky family this, I think my granny's name was some archaic catholic name); Eirênê, (ee re nee) after a Greek goddess of the same name who personified peace and was an inspiration for several ancient artists, writers and poets; Wanyenze (apparently Gisu names have no meaning); Kanyana, which has something to do with a calf; Nagimesi, the Gisu guys at it again.

Someone once famously asked what was in a name, his logic being that a rose by any other would smell just as sweet. The truth is that human beings are fascinated with names and this fascination permeates every aspect of our lives. I met a guy over the weekend whose first few sentences included the fact that he was the son of a prominent member of the ruling elite. If only he had been named after some form of pond life, the arrogance! Names have the ability to inspire us to achieve great things as in the case of the Kennedys whose name is synonymous with American politics, fame, glory and a healthy dose of sleaze. After the recent death of Ted Kennedy, most Americans wondered who would fill his shoes and keep the name going, I don't envy that person. For my part, it was decreed that I would be called a "wise protector" because of "God's love" but my friends have conspired to name me after wildlife for one reason or another. I carry my given names with pride but for myself, I will always be my mother's son. So what does your name mean?

Thug Love!

2009-09-28T18:19:00.001-07:00

I have this playlist on my mp3 player; it's called "maybehip". See, at the heart of me, I am all about rock n roll. I believe that it will never die. However, I have always thought of myself as a hip guy though, so every now and then, I venture into the land of hip hop and update myself. My latest obsession in these realms is "Cash Flow – Ace Hood ft DJ Khaled, Rick Ross & T-Pain." This song represents my latest act of piracy; I fired up limewire yesterday and downloaded the damn song because I like it. I wouldn't mind giving Mr. Hood his cash flow but it's a little bit outside my sphere of financial influence at the moment. Perhaps that's why I like it, because I need my cash flow too. Some people have been hindering it and "am a come see ya!" Anyway, back to hip-hop. I guess like all music, it serves to inspire me. I listen to people like Tupac Shakur, and it's like reading poetry. Even such silly songs like "I Love College", serve to remind me to not be too serious about life. That perhaps the entire world is a college and you go through it trying to learn a few things, so you might as well have some fun while you're at it. I listen to Wyclef cry about "Gunpowder" and shout "No More War" and I feel the emotion in his words. I hear Ludacris and Alicia Keys talk about savouring the moments and doing things "Like You'll Never See Me Again". I take from them the simple message that we are not promised tomorrow, so let's do and say the shit that matters now. Whenever I'm feeling down, Tupac and Scarface come calling, whispering that "there's gonna be some stuff you gonna see, that's going to make it hard to smile in the future. But through whatever you see, through all the rain and the pain, you gotta keep your sense of humour; you gotta be able to smile through all this bullshit. Remember that." Perhaps that is why I place such a high premium on humour. I like to laugh truly, sometimes at myself. Whenever I'm in need of some pride, Lil' Mama comes through because she is "What It Is." Some of these songs tell me that in "Everything, Everyday, Everywhere", I should be myself and embrace who I truly am. Some move me to call out and ask "If You're Out There," if indeed you will stand up tell me that "A Change is Gonna Come." Jordin Sparks comes along and helps me say that you're all imprinted on the fabric of my life like a "Tatoo." I realise that I could go through the entire playlist describing each song and how it makes me feel but I will spare you that drivel. However, I must say that I feel T.I. is a genius; his words are reminiscent of Tupac's mastery on "All Eyez On Me". I was searching for words that could channel my fighting spirit and he came along singing "I Aint Dead, I Aint Done." So, let me clock out here and say, people, "Let It Rock", and to all the girls, "Thug love!"

PS: I will be updating this playlist with music sourced from Baz, Andrew, Lethal and other places.

1. Mary J Blige - Work That (3:32)

2. 2Pac - Pac's Life (Feat. T.I. & Ashanti) (3:37)

3. Akon - Beautiful Ft. Colby O'Donis And Kardinal Offishall (5:13)

4. Destinys Child - T-Shirt-easymp3s (4:40)

5. Akon - Troublemaker Ft. Sweet Rush (3:57)

6. India.Arie - Chocolate High (Feat. Musiq Soulchild) (4:44)

7. Akon - Ghetto (3:57)

8. Fabolous - Everything, Everyday, Everywhere f. Keri Hilson & Ryan Leslie (4:07)

9. Akon - I'm So Paid Ft. Lil' Wayne And Young Jeezy (4:23)

10. Lil' Mama - What It Is (Strike A Pose) (Feat. T-Pain) (3:58)

11. Akon - Be With You (3:51)

12. Wyclef Jean - Any Other Day (Feat. Norah Jones) (4:11)

13. Rihanna - Rehab (4:57)

14. Plies - Hypnotized (feat. & prod. by Akon) (3:10)

15. Eminem - Beautiful (6:32)

16. Tupac Shakur - 2 Pac-All Eyes On Me - Heartz Of Men (4:43)

17. Tupac Shakur - 2 Pac-All Eyes On Me - Life Goes On (5:01)

18. Tupac Shakur - 2 Pac-All Eyes On Me - Only God Can Judge Me (4:56)

19. Ace Hood - Cash Flow (ft. DJ Khaled, Rick Ross, T-Pain) (4:28)

20. akon ft karidinal offishall - Rush (2007) (4:15)

21. All y'all - Timbaland (4:35)

22. Asher Roth - I Love College (4:06)

23. Wyclef Jean - 5-Baby Daddy-Redman (4:03)

24. Beyonce Knowles - Halo (4:21)

25. Britney Spears - Circus (3:12)

26. Britney Spears - Gimme More (4:13)

27. Busta Rhymes Ft. Linkin Park - We Made It.mp3

28. Chris Brown - Superhuman (Keri Hilson).mp3

29. Colby O'Donis feat. Akon - What You Got [iM1].mp3

30. Destiny's Child, Eminem, Redman - Thug Love (Remix).mp3

31. DJ Khaled - We taking over (feat. Akon, Baby, Lil Wayne, Rick Ross & T.I.).mp3

32. Estelle-Come Over(Feat.sean paul)(clean).mp3

33. Fabolous_-_It's My Time Ft Jeremih.mp3

34. Hold My Hand---- Akon Remix feat. Michael Jackson.mp3

35. I Can't Win (His Mistakes) - Usher.mp3

36. I'm Not My Hair (Remix) - India. Arie Feat. Akon.mp3

37. If That's OK With You Shayne Ward (3:44)

38. India Arie - Video (4:12)

39. Jennifer Hudson-Spotlight.mp3

40. John Legend - Everybody Knows (4:35)

41. John Legend - Green Light f/ Andre 3000 (4:45)

42. John Legend - If You're Out There (4:23)

43. John Legend - No Other Love [Feat. Estelle] (3:59)

44. Jordin Sparks - Tatoo (3:55)

45. Kanye West - Flashing Lights (Ft. Dwele) (3:59)

46. Kanye West - Homecoming (Feat. Chris Martin) (3:23)

47. Kanye West - Stronger (5:11)

48. Kanye West ft. T-Pain - Heartless.mp3

49. Keri Hilson - Knock You Down ft. Kanye West & Ne-Yo.mp3

50. Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil' Wayne - Let It Rock.mp3

51. Lady Gaga - Just Dance (4:02)

52. Lemarvin - Thug Like Me (2:43)

53. Like I Never Left (Feat. Akon) - Whitney Houston.mp3

54. Like You'll Never See Me Again (Remix) - Alicia Keys Ft. L.mp3

55. Lil Wayne - Mrs. Officer (Feat. Bobby Valentino).mp3

56. Lil Wayne Ft. Lloyd - You (3:35)

57. Lionel Richie Ft.Akon-Just Go.mp3

58. Lloyd - Lessons In Love - I Can Change Your Life.mp3

59. Lloyd ft. Lil Wayne - Girls All Around World (3:31)

60. Love like this- natasha bedding (3:45)

61. Lupe Fiasco Ft. Young Jeezy & T.I. - Superstar (Remix) (3:41)

62. Maino feat. T Pain- All of the Above.mp3

63. Mariah Carey Feat. T.I. - I'll Be Loving You Long Time (Official Remix).mp3

64. Mariah Carey ft. Akon & Lil Wayne - Bye Bye (Remix).mp3

65. Mariah Carey&ampKrazie Bone - I Still Believe.mp3

66. Mary J Blige - Fade Away (4:18)

67. Mr. DJ - Swangz Ave Anthem.mp3

68. Nappy Roots - Good Day.mp3

69. Natasha Bedingfield - Pocketful Of Sunshine.mp3 (Yes, some rock creeps in)

70. Pussycat Dolls - I Hate This Part (3:39)

71. Queen Latifah - Love is a battle field (4:57)

72. Rick Ross Ft. John Legend - Magnificent.mp3

73. Seal - A Change Is Gonna Come.mp3

74. Sean Paul - Pepperpot (3:13)

75. Shayne Ward - Breathless (3:49)

76. Shayne Ward - Melt the snow (3:49)

77. Sorry Blame It On Me - Akon (4:55)

78. Syleena Johnson - Hypnotic ft R. Kelly and Fabol (4:49)

79. T.I. - Live Your Life (Ft. Rihanna) (5:40)

80. T.I. - No Matter What.mp3

81. T.I. - Slide Show (Ft. John Legend) (3:42)

82. T.I. - What Up, Whats Haapnin.mp3

83. T.I. - Whatever You Like.mp3

84. T.I. Feat. Justin Timberlake - Dead And Gone [feat. Justin Timberlake] (Explicit Album Version) (4:59)

85. The Boss Feat. T- Pain - Rick Ross.mp3

86. The Dream Ft Kanye West-Walking On The Moon.mp3

87. The Game - Dreams (4:49)

88. The Game Ft. Lil Wayne - My Life.mp3

89. Timbaland - Scream (Feat. Keri Hilson & Nicole Scherzinger) (5:41)

90. Timbaland ft Francisco & Keri Hilson - The Way I Are (Remix) (3:54)

91. Tupac - Changes.mp3

92. Tupac - dear mama.mp3

93. Tupac - I Wonder If Heaven Got A Ghetto - (Hip-Hop Version).mp3

94. Tupac - Letter to my unborn.mp3

95. Tupac - Smile.mp3

96. Tupac - Thugs Mansion.mp3

97. Tupac - Untill The End Of Time.mp3

98. U Know What - Avante ft.Lil Wayne.mp3

99. We Ride (I See the Future).mp3

100. Wyclef Jean - No More War (4:01)

101. Wyclef Jean - Apocalypse (3:51)

102. Wyclef Jean - Fast Car (Feat. Paul Simon) (4:03)

103. Wyclef Jean - Hot 91.3 Pussycat (3:51)

104. Wyclef Jean - Slow Down (Feat. T.I.) (5:17)

105. Wyclef Jean - We Trying To Stay Alive - John Forté (3:13)

106. Wyclef Jean - What About The Baby (Feat. Mary J. Blige) (3:36)

107. wyclef jean - wish you were here.mp3

108. Wyclef Jean LIFE New Day.mp3

109. Young Jeezy Ft Kanye West, Trae, Lil Wayne, Ludacris & Rick Ross - I Put On (Remix) (7:17)

Happy Birthday My Dimpled Friend!

2009-09-27T14:39:00.000-07:00

Hi sweetheart,
I know it's been a while since I saw you but I guess you're caught up in this lovely mess we call life! I just wanted to wish you a lovely bday albeit belated. I hope you enjoyed it and that many more happy ones await you.
xoxoxoxo

Rhino